Pam, Pete, and Harley
by Wiggles-n-stuff
Summary: Good ol' Parker Luck. Peter Parker is living with two very attractive ladies. They are both strong, intelligent... and villains. Oh boy. Spidey is sucked into the DC verse by accident, and immediately stumbles upon the two women. How will the web-head deal with this new world, a completely new set of supers, and what's the goal of the Sirens in keeping him under thumb?
1. Chapter 1: Oh Great, Another World

**Pam, Pete, and Harley**

**Chapter 1: Oh Great, Another World...**

**Key**: _'Words'_ = Peter 4th walling it

_'You ever get that feeling the universe is messing with you cause it's funny? You probably think you do... but no you don't. Has the universe ever thrown you into another world? Yeah I didn't think so. Me, on the other hand, it must have a rager for doing that to me. I mean yeah this isn't my first rodeo with this kind of stuff, but at least they were worlds with some sort of me in them, or some sort of familiarity. You know what I mean...no of course you don't... you aren't me, the universal butt of the joke. *Sigh* I swear Wade mentioned something about us all being in a comic book or something once. Shoulda really listened to him more often, now that I think about it. Cause this stuff only happens in the comics.'_

_'Oh, I suppose you probably wanna know who's behind all the whining and complaining. Hi, I'm Peter, Peter Benjamin Parker, born in Forest Hills, New York. I'm a twenty something former photographer, former teacher, part time scientist, and full time hero. What, you thought I'd tell you my age? That's a rude thing to ask a girl. But I bet that wasn't what caught your attention, it was the hero thing right? Yup, I'm a bonafide superhero, I got powers and everything. I can stick to things with my butt, pretty neat huh? Don't give me that look. Okay I have more powers than that. I have the proportionate strength of a spider, agility that makes gymnasts jealous, speed that can border on the ridiculous, and this neat thing I call my Spider-Sense.'_

_'If you haven't guessed by now, I'm a spider based hero, and my hero name... Spider-Man! Sue me I came up with the name when I was fifteen. Anyways, back onto the topic of why you are here, the universe loves to pick on me. Sure, I'm currently living with two very attractive and educated women, more or less for free, and I am hero-ing alongside a group of amazing people... I said stop giving me that look, it's not all unicorns and sunshine. Especially when the previously mentioned attractive roomies are super villains, I'm their personal flying monkey, and they are using me to get the skinny on those heroes I'm working with. See! What'd I tell you? Universe's joke butt. Heh...joke butt.'_

_'Welp I'm home now. Why don't you take a seat, and see what I mean.'_

"Honey's I'm home!" Peter announced as the lift came to a halt. He was wearing a long sleeved gray turtleneck shirt, under a brown worn-in leather jacket, blue jeans, white sneakers, and a red and black striped scarf around his neck. It is currently a chilly late November in Gotham City. The snow hasn't started to fall quite yet, but the temperature certainly had no qualms in making them know what time of year it is.

With one hand Peter raises the lift gate, balancing several pizza boxes in his other, and enters the large two story flat. It's one of those apartments that takes up an entire building floor, and has it's own personal elevator. Peter always thought it looked a lot like the apartment in that movie Wayne's World 2. Which he was more than happy to live in cause it was huge. They had two floors of the six story building to themselves, and they were the top two. And the view...oh the view. The building was situated near the Gotham City's Endsbury Park, facing the North Channel, and on the south end of Granton. So in other words you get a wonderful view of a riverside park, with just the right amount of buildings in the far background to make the scene. Grant it, this was more for the convenience of the other tenants than his pleasure. Still, when he got up in the morning it was a nice view to have a cup of coffee to.

"Petey's back! Ya didn't forget the pies did ya?" Harleen Quinzel aka Harley Quinn, former Joker side-kick, former Criminal Psychologist, current Gotham Siren, and one of Peter's roomies. She called from the sunken down living room/entertainment room. Harley poked her head up from her laying position on the large '_Really comfy, by the way.'_ couch, giving Peter a huge enthusiastic smile. 'She's watching NCIS believe it or not.' She was currently dressed in a flattering red tank-top, black baggy pajama bottoms, and red socks. Her hair was up in a single pigtail situated high up on the back of her head.

_'I suppose I should give you some background into that background. Dr. Harleen Quinzel started off with a promising career as a Criminal Psychologist at Arkham Asylum. She was very good at what she did, err does, she's still got a great head on her shoulders, at least when she's not driving us crazy. I know right?! Someone who can make the Amazing Spider-Man look less annoying by comparison, didn't think there was someone like that out there, did you? Honestly Pam tells us that she doesn't know who's the more annoying out of us sometimes. Okay I'm getting off track. Harleen did her job well until she tried a crack at that psycho, Joker. And I mean psycho in all capital letters, punctuated with like a dozen exclamation marks, underlined three times, and a big red 'Dangerous' stamp punched on top of that.'_

_'I haven't had to much opportunity to get to know the guy, actually he was one of the first people I met on this world, didn't know who he was at the time though. Everything I hear from my resident hero buddies points towards he's bad news on a scale that the entire Justice League puts him up there with the super evil baddies. A great honor considering he's just a normal human, well great for him I guess. I even hear that other villains are hesitant to work with him. That's just the kind of mad man he is.' _

_'Argh! I'm getting further off track again. I do that, ramble on you know, anyways...So Joker basically warped our little Harleen's brain with his madness and she ended up...err dating? That the right word? Um well she side kicked with the guy for years. This got her on the wrong side of the law, and into Arkham many times. Thankfully that is where she met our other roommate Pam. Pam helped Blondie out by becoming her girl villain BFF, and eventually, mostly away from the clown. Stuff happened, and she even tried to go legit once, but you know the whole brand thing we in the game get. It's kinda hard to gain trust after such things. That's pretty much my bubbly roomy's story. You want more then you gotta dig deeper yourself, I'd rather not, cause digging up the past usually leads down dark roads in my opinion. Okay back to things.'_

Harleen performed a flawless handstand cartwheel over the couch, and gracefully landed on the raised floor behind it with nary a sound. She skipped over to the counter table, taking a stool seat, as Peter placed the still warm boxes in front of her. She looked like a happy kid, grinning widely with her chin resting in the palms of her hands, who's elbows were resting on the counter.

"Never. One large loaded topping pizza, and one large cheese." Peter gave her a return smile, before he turned away from the kitchen and slipped off his jacket and scarf, hanging them on the coat rack by the lift. He slid out of his cold sneakers, letting the warmth of the apartment wash over him.

"Ya know just what ta do ta make a lady swoon, don't ya Petey?" She opened the top box and took a long sniff. Letting out a coo of pleasure after her sense of smell was gratefully sated. Peter returned to the kitchen, rummaged through the cupboards for a moment before extracting three plates, and setting them next to the pizza boxes.

"If I did Bubbles, I'm sure I'd have a girlfriend by now." Peter quipped, as he rolled his eyes slightly at her. His eyes scanned the room, not seeing their other resident. "Where's Pam? Eden?"

"Eden. Come to think of it, haven't seen her all day." The blond nodded enthusiastically, as she placed four pieces of the large every topping pizza on a plate. She turned to leave the counter, but Peter tapped her shoulder lightly halting her before she could hop back to the couch. He gingerly placed a few napkins on her pig tailed head, which she almost went crossed eyed looking up toward.

"Lets try not to make a mess this time Bubbles."

"Right-o." And with that she expertly bounced her way back to the living room, not once jostling the napkins. Peter shook his head, and moved from the kitchen to the stairs. The second floor of the loft housed a restroom, the girls' bedrooms, a nice large bay windowed indoor terrace, and the largest portion of it was one large room, dubbed the Garden of Eden.

As he approached the door to Eden, he glanced at his watch, seeing it was well past 5pm. She should have been up by now, he thought. A few raps on the door, and no response following, Peter let himself into the Garden.

"Hey Blossom you photosynthesizing in here?" The Garden of Eden as they called it was just that, a huge garden inside the room. This garden completely filled the entire half of the second floor, and contained more variations of plants and hybrids than any botanical garden. The really miraculous part of the Garden was that all the plant life lived together effortlessly. Normally the sheer diversity of plant life would have made it impossible to grow most anything in here, but thanks to the amazing green thumb of their gardener they not only lived in harmony but thrived; hence Eden. The literal jungle, both in greenery and temperature, was a dangerous maze to anyone not welcomed. _'And normally I'm not welcomed, but I have my ways around that when necessary.'_

Peter navigated the foliage, avoiding the dangerous plant life with the little tingle that popped up in the back of his skull. The room was mostly dark, and that gave him all the information he needed as to why he hadn't seen the gardener upon his return. Luckily there were some form of bio-luminescent flowers scattered to and fro so he could see a little bit. After ducking under some variation of vine flower, he arrived at the only open part of the room. It was against the far wall from the door, and had a large work bench and table covered in both chemistry tools and plant specimens.

His target was currently sitting on a large toadstool, _'I know right?! Total Miss Muffet right there.'_ hunched over an open section of the table, and breathing steadily. Peter silently moved next to the cascading red hair covering her, and gently moved some away from her peaceful sleeping face. _'I whole heartedly agree with Logan, Red heads are the best. Not to say other hair colored women aren't attractive, but there is just something about red heads to us.'_

Giving her a warm smile, Peter looked her over, only to turn as scarlet as her hair. He quickly averted his gaze to the work area, looking for something to cover the sleeping naked green skinned woman. This was why he wasn't normally allowed in here without permission. She was very fit, not an ounce of fat anywhere that wasn't appropriate, had long legs, a face to die for, and could easily be a supermodel. _'*Drools*'_ Finding a large red housecoat hanging on the wall rack, he plucked it off and carefully draped it over her. She murmured a bit as he placed it on her, but stayed asleep. Which honestly wasn't surprising she probably hadn't had her lunch yet, or breakfast for that matter. Peter moved back over to the same wall, and pressed a big red button. Gears ground together and a motorized whirring sound broke the silence. A large metal cover was drawn away from the skylight above it. The white sunlight from outside bathed the Garden. Pamela Isley aka Poison Ivy, stirred at the sound and blinked sleepily a few times. Her unfocused eyes looked up to the person standing by the wall.

_'Okay background time again, at least before she recognizes it's me there. Dr. Pamely Isley was a student of botany and toxicology. Still is, but to a much greater degree. Her former professor basically seduced her and experimented on her with toxins. This was both torturous and left her with a changed physiology. She now had toxins in her blood that made her dangerous to the touch, and gained an immunity to all poisons, viruses, bacteria and fungi. She, like my former work wife Spider-Woman, can produce pheromones that can make any man her willing slave. That's originally how she got me to stay...but that's for later.'_

_'Thanks to her professor's betrayal she grew a deep hatred for men in general. How am I still around, considering I'm a goody two-shoes, and annoying guy? Well you could say she found a use for me. Eventually she moved to Gotham and started a life of crime mostly as an Eco Terror...err Warrior. She was sent to Arkham many times, and eventually met and befriended Harleen there. Gaining her first real friend in a very long time, the two grew an attachment. Eventually Ivy tried to break up Harls and Joker, because he was just an abusive asshole.'_

_'Anyways, she eventually evolved to the point she could command plant life. Her body actually became mostly plant itself. She feeds through Photosynthesis, or can I should say. She still eats human food too, just basically not anything made from a plant. She can live off of water and sunlight for extended periods of time if need be. Which is basically why we find her in this current situation. She forgot to open the shutter before she went to sleep, and with no sun to rouse her tired self, she just kept sleeping. Let's get back to my execution shall we?'_

"Wha...Parker? Why are you in my garden?" Pamela's voice grew harsher as her mind started to wake up. Peter quickly threw his hands in the air defensively, and grew as sheepish a smile as he could muster.

"I'm sorry Pam, but you've been asleep most of the day, and I just came in to check up on you." She looked him over sternly, before huffing out a breath, and began stretching her limbs. She knew Peter wasn't the kind of man to take advantage of her; like she had of him. He'd proven it time and again, that he was a real gentleman, if not for the sake of his life in her hands. She felt something begin to slide off her shoulders, and quickly grabbed at her housecoat. Her eyes went from the coat to herself. She was naked, which wasn't unusual for her, especially in her garden, but still Peter was here, and guess what conclusion she jumped to. 'Oh boy I know that look. Thanks Parker Luck.' Peter thought as he began to sweat. Poison Ivy quickly pulled her coat over her exposed body, and glared daggers at the man in the room.

Peter gulped and immediately jumped into action. The buzzing in his skull grew quite loud as he began to duck and weave, fleeing the vines and deadly plants in the room currently attacking him.

'I'm sorry Pam! I swear I didn't see anything!" _'This time at least.'_ He shouted as he raced toward the door. He knew she wasn't really trying to hurt him this time. She would have just used the many toxin producing plants in the room to stop him otherwise. Ducking outside the Garden of Eden, and quickly slamming the door closed, he leaned back against it bracing it in place. The expected slams didn't come, and after a moment he removed himself from the door, heading back down stairs.

"Whew...close one." He sighed loud enough to gain Harleen's attention. She turned her head to look at him, her mouth half stuffed with a slice of pizza. She titled her head in that cutesy questioning way girls can do.

"She left the shutters closed last night, but she's up now." He gave her the answer she asked for, and then she smiled around the slice of pizza, returning to the television. Peter dished himself several slices of pizza, and slipped around to the front of the couch that Harley was on. She scooted her legs up to give him some room, and he plopped down next to her. She switched her position on the couch and scooted up next to him. _'Harleen's a snuggler. She'll cuddle with just about anybody as long as she semi comfortable with them. Lucky me right.'_ Peter put his plate on the side table next to the couch and threw his right arm over the back. The blond cuddled up against him, and continued to eat her current slice of pizza. Peter grabbed one of his slices, and took a grateful bite.

"So what's for bad movie night tonight Harls?" Harleen smirked, and pointed the remote at the screen, the guide came up as Green Lantern with Ryan Reynolds. Peter let out a chuckle, as her smirk grew. "Appropriate."

'I thought so." She joined in his chuckle. They heard the metal door to the Garden of Eden open and shut, and both looked up to the second floor. Pamela looked slightly annoyed, but much more managed now, with her red housecoat securely tied around her, and her long glossy red hair straitened to a degree. "Hey Red we are just about to start bad movie night wanna join?" Harleen asked.

"No, thank you Harley. I have slept most the day away, and need to get back to my work." Ivy moved toward her room door, hoping to avoid the inevitable...

"Aww c'mon Red. Ya've been cooped up in that room for days now. Pweeeeeaaaasssseeee. Petey got us pizza." Harleen begged with those big old puppy dog eyes. Pam did a magnificent job of avoiding eye contact with her best friend, and let out a long sigh.

"I'm sorry Harley, but..."

"If it helps I'm sorry for barging in unannounced Pam. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Peter interrupted.

"I know, I realize that now, but..."

"Ya promised Red. Ya snubbed us that last few weeks for bad movie night, promisin to watch the next." Harley jumped in this time.

"But I need to..." Pamela was really considering the urge to just disappear into her room, but she did promise...

"It's my only day off this week, and I wanna enjoy some down time before I go patrolling tonight. Please Pam." Peter added in his own puppy dog eyes.

"Please Red." The two combined could probably stop a runaway truck in it's tracks with their looks. Poison Ivy inhaled a large amount of air, and let it out slowly. Her shoulders slumped as she finally turned to look at the two pouters.

"Fine...Just let me get dressed." She agreed, defeated by the efforts of her house mates. She quickly entered her room to change.

"YAY!" Harleen cheered, as she and Peter high five'd. _'That's right we are pout masters.'_ They got comfy again, and got the movie ready to play, by the time Pam came down the stairs. She was in a huge heavy green sweater, black nylons, and thick black socks. 'Blossom doesn't do cold well, but she sure looks nice when she tries.'

"There's cheese pizza in the other box. I know you like the plain stuff." Peter announced hearing her padding into the kitchen. She just mumbled something, which he took as a thanks, and dished up her own plate. Harley snickered at their exchanged, and relaxed against Peter. He had grown used to the contradicting personalities at this point. He didn't mind Harleen's touchy nature much anymore, and he'd even whittled down Pamela's cold, man hating nature into just a large annoyance, with him at least.

"So what are you going to make me watch?" The red head asked, as she sat down in the large _'Also really comfy.'_ recliner on the left side of the entertainment area. The blond clicked play on the remote, and the title of the movie came up on the screen. "Really?" Pam asked looking at the two on the couch, sounding slightly miffed.

"It's bad movie night." Peter shot back a lopsided grin.

"Appropriate." Ivy relented, as the movie started.

_'Well, all-in-all I guess things aren't as bad as I make them out to be. Though I bet you are all wondering just how this came to be, huh? I supposed I can start at the beginning. Heck it may give you some more perspective on my current situation and relationships, cause I'll tell you it wasn't always as nice as this.'_

_'Okay...it all started a long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away...'_

~ Marvel Universe 616 ~

New York City

Roughly a Year Ago

"Have I ever told you I hate the cold?" Spider-Man said, his breath fogging out from under his mask. He somersaulted over a roof access, and continued to sprint over the roof. Flying next to him, and obviously much warmer in her heavy winter coat, was the Scarlet Witch aka Wanda Maximoff. Her flowing red cape fluttered behind her, over the heavy red full body, white fluff lined parka. She had long shining auburn hair, and beautiful pale skin, rounded out with cherry red full lips, and deep blue eyes. _'So sue me Wanda's sexy.'_ She gave the red and blue spandex clad man a cute smirk, before shaking her head.

"Yes, for about the tenth time in the past hour, Spider-Man. Why don't you just invest in some sort of winter costume? It's rather common knowledge that you change your costume almost as much as Tony and his armor." Wanda playfully retorted, making Peter sigh. His spider-sense made him absentmindedly hop over a particularly icy spot on the roof. With that one leap he cleared the space between that building and the next, acrobatically landing and continuing his run.

"On my salary? I'm lucky if my Aunt gives me a holiday sweater for Christmas." His blank lenses turned to her.

"Well then how about I get you a nice winter coat for Christmas?" Wanda giggled, when she saw Peter's head reel back a bit at the statement.

"Clothes for Christmas...why can't I get toys like everybody else? I've been reaallyy good this year. Please." He said in his best kiddy voice, and clasped his hands together in a pleading manner, as he ran. Wanda rolled her eyes at him. She, like many of the others in the hero community, found Spider-Man to talk way to much, the puns usually never helped, but she happily tolerated them. It was the least she could do after all the pain she caused him.

_'I guess I should give you all a bit of background on my current team-up buddy. Wanda Maximoff is the daughter of Eric Lehnsherr or Magneto. She is a mutant like her father and brother. Yet she is easily the strongest out of that particular family. Sure her father can level city blocks with his magnetic powers, and her brother Pietro Maximoff, or Quicksilver, can run a lap around the world in just over 3 minutes, but our lovely sorceress can alter the very fabric of reality. Yup, she has Chaos Magics, which basically means she can alter reality and probability. She's done it before, hence the whole causing me pain thing. She actually caused a lot of people pain, but since I was one of the few who remember it, she has been particularly nice to me. I honestly don't hold it against her anymore, sure I did for a little bit, but that's just my life. In the altered reality I married my first love Gwen Stacey, her father Captain George Stacey was still alive, and so was my Uncle Ben. Yeah... Oh my identity was publicly known, I was an actor, business man, wrestler, and still the loveable hero you all know today. Gwen and I even had a son together. Honestly...looking back on it, it was what my life could have been if everything went right. Sure I had to pretend I was a mutant to survive, but hey a small price to pay.'_

_'Still all good things usually come to an end, and so did that reality. Not many people remember it amongst the super community she hung out in, and the second effect of changing that reality put her in even hotter water with the mutants. She wiped out 98% of mutant kind, err their powers to be precise, and negated the mutant gene in future generations. So needless to say she's hasn't been well liked lately. Recently though she helped correct the "No More Mutants" mistake, and has been begrudgingly accepted back into our ranks, me though I welcomed her back with open arms. Everybody deserves a second chance, especially if their lives have been as bad as hers and mine. We actually have a lot in common, and it's kind of a shame we don't get to hang out together more and eat Ben and Jerry's and chat about it. I forgave her for everything, and it hasn't been until this team up that we have had a chance to talk. So let's get back to it.'_

"No you are getting a nice winter coat, and you are going to like it young man." She joked in a motherly nagging tone. Spidey pretended to pout, and crossed his arms as he flipped over another gap in buildings.

"Fine..." Peter grumbled. There was a pregnant silence between the heroes, and Spidey noticed that she gained an apprehensive look.

"Peter... I..." She started, until she spotted their target ducking into an alley not to far ahead. "There she is Spider-Man." Wanda's game face quickly returned, and Peter gave her a consoling smile from behind his mask. He really needed to let her know that he forgave her, and she has a friend in him, but business comes first.

The Scarlet Witch swooped down closer to street level, and Spidey followed by web lining to the next building, and following her down. When the got to the mostly deserted snow covered street, Peter figured he should probably know who they were actually chasing down. An hour ago on patrol he met up with Wanda, and decided to escort her through lovely New York City this night. _'It's only polite to escort a lady at night in the winter. I was being gentlemanly. Didn't think it'd land me where it did, but hey Parker Luck.'_

"So who's our little run away? I think it'd be better to know who's gonna be beating up Spidey, so we can laugh about it later." He asked in a hushed voice to her, as they closed in on the alley. Wanda was floating just a foot off the ground, and Peter crawled along the side of the wall.

"She goes by Phantazia, her real name is Eileen. She used to be in the Brotherhood. After the..." She was hesitant to bring up the subject, but she needed to. "...incident, she lost her mutant abilities, and was put up in a SHIELD mental institution. After the Phoenix debacle she gained her powers back, and broke out. Her mutant ability is to harmonize and disrupt electronic wavelengths and biological circulatory systems. In other words..."

"She can basically disrupt powers and control bodies to an extent, yes? Sounds like she could be fun...actually I think I remember seeing her with your Dad back then." Peter interrupted as they stopped just before entering the alley. The Scarlet Witch paused and looked up at her companion, blinking a few times. It was followed by a smile, and a nod of affirmation. She, like pretty much everybody Spidey dealt with, usually tend to forget that underneath the tights, the bad puns, the constantly running mouth, and powers, Peter Parker had a genius level intellect. It was a constant surprise to everyone who worked with the hero when he did the science talk. His goofball exterior masked it so well.

"Correct Spider-Man."

"So it's kinda personal, kinda business?"

"Indeed. Actually I'm glad you met up with me, I wasn't quite sure of how I would deal with her alone." Wanda admitted with a very slight blush. Peter couldn't help but admire how cute Wanda looked when she did that.

"Damsels in distress are my specialty Witch. But, I wouldn't mind some coffee later for my services?" He suggested, and crawled into the alley before she could respond. Wanda was taken aback by his bold proposal, but didn't really mind the idea. But for now business before pleasure. She floated into the alley after him.

They followed the footsteps in the snow, which was a big help, as it was just fallen. Carefully they sneaked further into the apparently connecting alleys. Rummaging was heard ahead off into the left connection. Peter's blank lenses peaked out from behind the wall he was attached to, and he spotted Phantazia ripping lids off of garbage cans, and digging in them. He guessed she very recently escaped, and was pretty hungry to be doing that. Eileen had platinum blond matted hair, stood about 5'5", and wore a blue blanket over her institution garb. _'I actually felt pretty bad for her at this point. She must have been frozen, as that wasn't a lot of clothing for mid December.'_

"She looks horrible. I'm just gonna web her up quickly and quietly, and we can get her somewhere warm." Peter whispered to Wanda, as he pulled himself back from his observation point. Call him chivalrous or a chauvinist, but even if she was a bad guy, she was still a lady in a bad spot.

"Be careful." Wanda whispered back, and Peter nodded. He carefully crawled along the wall into Phantazia's alley. Getting into a kneeling position he devil horned his hands, and let loose two strands of webbing. THWIP! TWHIP! It worked like a charm. Eileen was caught totally off guard, and was wrapped up nice and neat before she fell to the ground screaming.

"WHA! WHO"S THERE?! What is this stuff!?" She raged and struggled against the strong bonds.

"Looks like ah caught me a marlin." Spidey quipped, and dropped to the snowed over concrete. The wrapped up woman rolled over to see who spoke, and saw Spider-Man approaching her, and behind him was the Scarlet Witch. If her blue eyes looked more like ice at that point, Peter would have caught a cold from them. Phantazia stopped screaming, and stared dangerously at Scarlet Witch. Even Wanda felt herself flinch at the sheer hatred in that glare.

"YOU! YOU BITCH! YOU DID THIS TO ME! I'll KILL YOU!" Eileen resumed her struggling against the steel webbing she was in. Spidey looked back at SW and saw her downcast face. She must have felt totally responsible for the way Phantazia ended up. The guilt was as readable as large print in a book.

"Witch are you gonna be okay?" Peter asked as he took a step toward his pained partner. Suddenly her arms shot up, and the pink red aura that preceded her powers covered her hands. She looked just as shocked as Peter was under his mask.

"Wha? I'm not..." Then the aura exploded into huge pink flame-like energy, illuminating the alley. Realization dawned on her scared face, and she looked to Peter. "Quick you have to knock her out! She's manipulati...AHHHH!" Her powers erupted, and a spiraling cloud of pink and red formed in front of her and Spider-Man. A black hole opened from the center of the cloud, and with it a vacuum suction that matched that of a tornado. Peter widened his stance in the snow, and tried to stick to the ground. Wanda wasn't nearly as lucky, she fell to the ground and tried to crawl away from the pull. It was just to strong, and she flew toward it fast.

Spider-Man's reflexes were fast enough to send of web line to wrap around her waist before she entered the vortex. He held her in places as the line swung from side to side with it precious cargo mere feet from the hole.

"I gotcha Wanda! Hang on I'll get us..." Then it happened, he felt the screaming buzz in his head. His feet suddenly slid forward, unsticking themselves from the ground. His eyes quickly flashed to Phantazia on the other side of the vortex staring at him. She altered his adhesive ability! He launched toward the portal with Wanda. Wanda screamed back toward Peter, still holding onto the line for dear life.

"PETER..." She managed before she vanished into the black.

"WANDA!" Spider-Man shouted as he vanished into the vortex too. The Chaos Magic fueled portal shrunk away and vanished along with it's fuel supply. Not more than a second later, as Eileen was triumphantly laughing maniacally, Ms. Marvel aka Carol Danvers, landed in the alley. She was wide-eyed and terrified, desperately looking at where Spider-Man, one of her best friends, and Scarlet Witch vanished. She ignored the laughing villainness, and quickly pulled out her Avenger's ID card.

_'Pick the wrong partner to tango with, especially one with blind revenge fueling their every move, and you can end up like this. It was supposed to be an easy catch, followed by coffee with a pretty woman, and then a nice night of sleep before work. Universal joke butt thy name is Peter Parker. *Sigh*** **Let's keep rolling the flashback.'_

~ DC Universe ~

Gotham City

Minutes Later

_'Spidey woke up minutes later in a daze. Heh heh sorry couldn't help it.'_

Spider-Man's eyes blinked open under his mask. His head was foggy, and he was cold. With a groan he sat up, and immediately grabbed his throbbing head with his left hand. "Why always a headache? _'Seriously I always wake up with a headache when this kind of stuff happens. It's really annoying.'_ Why can't I wake up with a pleasant euphoric feeling for once? Geeze. Witch? Witch you okay?" He glanced around him, trying to get his bearings. When no response was given he got to his feet, and forced his vision to steady. "Wanda? Wanda are you there?" Peter called out, not seeing a sign of his partner anywhere. 'Oh great...I'm who knows where, or when, and now Wanda is gone too. Great! JUST GREAT! God I hope she's okay.' His mind raced as he realized where he was at. He was standing on top of a large wharf warehouse, one in a row of many. It was cold outside, but there was no snow, and it was still night. Spider-Man looked at the horizons, wherever he was wasn't New York, he didn't recognize any of the buildings.

"Okay...okay...let's just think for a moment. Get your head together Parker. What do we know?" He rubbed his temples through his mask, with both hands' index and middle fingers. While he did this he paced back and forth in a line. "Wanda's powers were forcefully activated, and we both were sucked into the vortex thingie. Now I'm in a strange city, no Wanda in sight, and no idea where to begin searching. Sound about right?" His hands fell limply to his sides and dangled there. Spidey slouched forward, and let out a long exhale. "Yeah sounds exactly like the stuff that happens to me. Won-der-ful."

Peter straitened up and shook his head, before slapping his palms to his cold cheeks. He immediately regretted doing the buck up gesture. It stung like hell. "Oww oww oww oww!" His mind did the cursing for him.

"Puddin' don't do this!" A woman's loud frightened voice brought Peter out of his whining. It was close by, and from the echo, inside one of the warehouses.

'I don't have time for this right now...GRRRRR...Dammit!' Peter fought with himself, before stamping his foot on the roof of the cold building, and focusing his enhanced hearing _'Oh yeah I got enhanced senses too...forgot to mention that. Sorry, carry on.'_ trying to pinpoint the voice. It wasn't hard at all when another, male voice, nearly broke his ear drums. The man was laughing so unnervingly crazy, it just screamed psycho bad guy, and Peter didn't even need to see the guy. It was a haunting laugh too, and made the arachnid hero shudder.

"Yeah that's not disturbing to the max." The laugh was coming from the warehouse a few down from him. Peter shot a line to a nearby crane and swung in an wide vertical arc to the front of the building. He stuck gracefully to the wall, thankful that Phantazia's powers weren't permanent. Peter didn't even think about the fact they might till he was already in the air halfway to the warehouse. Carefully he climbed up to the window located near the top of the front face. He pulled the window open, and crawled inside.

Instantly heat washed over him, and he welcomed it with open arms. The building must have one heck of a heating syst...em...or there is a cage on fire in the middle of the warehouse, hanging off the ground by ten feet. _'I was not expecting that.'_ Peter thought as he surveyed the situation. There were two people, a man and a woman, both dressed as... a creepy clown and curvy jester...yup. Inside the cage was a body, a woman's body, but that was about all he could see from behind the flames. Whoever was in the cage was unconscious, which made Peter jump into action immediately.

"Now now my dear Harley. How could you break my heart and leave me for that green thumbed tart? Do you know just how much I missed you?" The clown guy said this in an mocking hurt tone, as he strolled casually back and forth in front of the red and black clad jester woman. He was spinning a _'I kid you not.'_ foot long barreled Luger around his right index finger. He was dressed in a purple winter long coat with green trimmings, and a matching colored two tailed tux under the coat, and violet colored dress pants. _'Seriously he looked like he was going to Cirque du Soliel...see what I did there? Clowns, circus, fancy clothes, eh eh.'_ His face was covered in white make-up, with a huge red smile painted over his mouth and cheeks, and his hair was combed back and green.

"Puddin' it's over! Ya won't use me anymore! Let Ivy go!" The jester woman, shouted back at the clown. She struggled against the two very burly _'I seriously still can't get over this either.'_ Mimes holding her in place. They must have been extra precaution cause her hands and feet were tied together in zip ties. She had a two toned red and black checkered body suit, with a hood that formed a twin tailed jester's hat. She had a black eye mask on over her white make-uped face, and black painted lips.

"That hurts Harley, but you'll get over..." The clown tapped her left cheek with the barrel of his gun, before he was heroically interrupted.

"The lady didn't pay you to stick around after the party guy." A unknown voice, to those in the room, broke the dangerous atmosphere into one of confusion. The two burly Mimes were simultaneously smacked in the face with a white ball each, and both hit the floor hard. They began trying to tear the webbing off their faces. A web line followed right after the impacts, connecting to the woman's shoulder, and with a yank from Spidey, she was hoisted up and away from the clown.

"AHHHH!" Harley screamed as she was pulled up to the rafters, and then into the toned arms of Spider-Man. She was stunned silent as she looked into his large blank lenses. He held her bridal style for a moment, before setting her on the beam.

"Sorry for the scare miss, but I think you better sit this out. Excuse me for a moment." Spidey said before launching a web line to a fire extinguisher down below. He pulled it from it's harness with one hand, and caught the hurtling red tube in his other hand.

"R...right?" Harely blinked, totally flabbergasted at this sudden situation, and the oddly dressed man.

"Who's that? You don't sound like Bats. The Dork Knight doesn't crack jokes." Joker turned up to see Harley placed on a beam safely. He brought his free hand up to cover his eyes, as he looked up at the newcomer. The red and blue costume was totally new to him, but that didn't diminish the gruesome smile he had. "Oh boy a new player. And who pray tell are you colorful stranger?"

"Just visiting hopefully." Spider-Man freed his line from his free hand, and shot a new line at the beam he was standing on. He hopped back and fell down toward the flaming cage, stopping just short of landing on it. "But if you must know, the name's Spider-Man. So what do they call you Bozo?" Peter adjusted the fire extinguisher in his hand, and sprayed the suppressing foam over the cage. The fires died away, he dropped to the cage top, and stood perfectly strait on the swaying object.

"Spider-Man huh? Not very original are we? But fair is fair. I'm the Clown Prince of Crime, the Joker. A pleasure to meet to you arachnid." The Joker performed an elaborate bow, sliding some razer cards into his hand from his sleeve unseen. He looked strait up from his bowing position, and frowned a bit seeing the hero disable his trap as they spoke.

"Arachn...oh, yeah, right. Usually baddies don't get that. Kudo's guy." Spidey was actually genuinely surprised that the Joker didn't refer to him as 'bug'. It didn't show on his face, mask and all, but it was in his voice.

"Professional courtesy is kind of a thing I do. Though I would have thought you would have extended me the same and not play with my toys." Joker flung three razer cards up at the hero from his bowing position. Spidey saw them, they weren't nearly as fast as a bullet, but the tingle in the back of his head indicated they meant business all the same. Almost effortlessly Peter caught all three, and as an added bonus he displayed them as a hand of cards to their owner. A quick glance at the cards, made the hero stifle a laugh. "You monogram your weapons? What a waste of money."

The Joker cracked a toothy way-to-wide smile, and straitened himself. He let out that insane laugh of his, which made Peter cringe. "Hmm not just sticky stuff I see. The boy has some talent. Of course I monogram, brand naming is very important in my line of work."

"I can't image Barnum and Bailey would take you, so what do you..." Spider Sense! A bullet whizzed by where Spidey's torso just was. Peter had stepped sideways avoiding the bullet as if he knew exactly when and where it would be fired. The clown below him pulled his head back a bit and blinked a few times at the display. So did the quickly freeing herself Harleen, as she paused to watch the exchange.

"Wow." Harley said in quiet awe.

"No seriously what do you do? Cause obviously it's not going to the gun range." Peter joked back, before he outstretched his left hand and fired a line, capturing the gun. He yanked hard, making the Clown Prince of Crime stumble forward. The gun was caught in the same hand by the barrel. Spidey clenched his fist, bending and denting the barrel irreparably so.

"That was my favorite gun kiddo. I hope you plan on paying me back for it." Joker's smile shortened considerably.

"Sorry I'm not an NRA supporter Gonzo. So I hope you don't mind if I just pay you back with a trip to the slammer." The chain holding the cage clinked, as Harleen slid down it, landing next to Spidey. He turned to her, his brows knitted in questioning, but she couldn't see it. "Weren't you supposed to stay up there?" He asked innocently.

"Sorry Mr. Spider-Man I'm kinda fraid of heights, so I came down." She retorted with a cute smile. "I'm Harley Quinn by the way. Thanks for the save." She gave him a quick peck on his masked cheek, her hands clasped behind her back, and she on her tip toes. As this was going on Joker walked casually over to a crate that was near him.

"Aww gosh Dr. Quinn, it was nuthin." _'I didn't realize at the time just how accurate I was with that little nickname. Heh.'_ Peter said in his best cowboy voice, as he rubbed the back of his head. Harley smiled again before dropping to her knees, _'Tell ya what she's got a really cute butt.'_ and bending over the edge of the cage to look at it's occupant.

"Red? You okay?" The woman in the cage was motionless, and her body was gloomy shade of green with some brown mixed in. Harleen's eyes shot open, and worry struck her. "RED?!" Spider-Man leaned forward away from his view, and looked at the kneeling girl next to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Ivy's in big trouble! We need to get her out of there!" Her eyes met his lenses, pleading and begging him to help whoever was in the cage. Peter immediately went serious mode, and was about to web the cage and break the chain, when his Spider Sense blared at him. He looked up to see the Joker holding a freaking rocket launcher, and aiming it at them.

"Sorry Harley, but I think we should see other people." He broke into the loudest creepiest laugh Peter had ever heard, and pulled the trigger. The Joker tilted back at the force of the launch, laughing the entire time.

"CRAP!" Peter shouted before he sprung into action. He pulled back the fire extinguisher in his right hand and chucked it with deadly accuracy. The red cylinder spun through the air, and collided with the rocket about mid way between them and the Joker. The explosion blinded the entire group, and briefly deafening them from the continuous laugh of the mad man. Peter spun around and fell over Harley, tacking his hands onto the metal cage, and protecting her from the explosion. The cage swung dangerously backward, flinging the woman inside against the bars. The chain wasn't meant to withstand that amount of pressure, and split apart.

Spider-Man's sixth sense went off and he looked up from his crouched position. They were heading toward the front wall of the warehouse, and the impact would be bad. "Grab onto me and hold on tight!" He shouted to the woman under him. Without thinking she followed his instructions, wrapping her arms around his torso. Peter pulled his hands free, and launched two web lines toward the rafter above. The muscles in his arms screamed when he pulled the lines taught. The cage came to an abrupt halt, with his feet and butt stuck to the metal, and began to swing back.

Peter strained himself and he let more of the lines out of his web shooters, making the cage skid against the floor. The grinding finally stopped, and the cage tilted back into an upright position. Peter cut the lines, and his he slowly pulled his arms back. "Owwwww oww oww!" He shook them vigorously, as Harley looked up to her rescuer amazed. He looked around but found no sign of the Joker. He must have fled in the chaos.

"Ya are just full of surprises Mr. Spider-Man. That was amazing." Her eyes sparkled as her savior, and she hugged him tighter.

"I've been told I do that a lot. How's your gal pal?" The Jester suddenly remembered her friend, and let go of the man. She quickly jumped down to the floor, looking in on the other woman.

"Red? Red are you okay? Please say something." She pleaded to the still motionless captive. Spider-Man dropped next her, and grabbed two of the bars. He pulled them apart easily, and stepped into the cage. The woman looked very sick, like a wilted flower, but that still didn't subtract much from her beauty. Spidey scooped her up in his arms, and looked her over closer. She was nearly naked, her intimates covered by browning leaves, her skin was a moldy green color now, and her hair was a muddy red. Still her overall appearance was stunning. Peter stepped out of the cage, and a worried Harley quickly examined her friend.

"We need to get her to a hospital quick. Where's the nearest one?" Peter asked, only to get a worried looked from Harley.

"We...we can't take her to a hospital. We have to take her back to our place. She can heal there." Harleen was rather adamant when she said this.

"But..."

"No our place is closer, and what she needs is there. Please!" She pleaded desperately, and against his better judgment Peter relented.

"Alright hop on my back and give me directions. I'll get us there as quick as I can."

Minutes later they were swinging through the night sky toward Harley's and the woman's home. They were silent the majority of the way, the blond clinging to his back, and the other tucked carefully under his right arm.

"So why can't we go to a hospital again?" Peter asked as they neared their _'And my soon to be.'_ residence.

"We...we jus can't. Trust me." Harley diverted again. Peter sighed, and landed on the building the conscious woman indicated. They quickly got in through the roof access, and into the warm loft.

"This way Spidey!" Harleen ran toward and opened the humid garden room. Peter was dumfounded as to how a bunch of plants were gonna help, but he brought the unconscious woman into the room. Harley directed him to place her down on the grass full ground. Which he did and knelt next to her, skeptical but hoping this would work. Almost instantly the grass stuck to the red head, and roots sprung from the ground to attach to her too. Her skin color started to light into a more vibrant green, the leaf dressing grew healthier, and her hair becoming a shining red again. Peter watched the transformation with a healthy curiosity.

"How in the...Harley how is she..." Spider Sense! Peter quickly raised his right hand over his head, and stopped the blow from a huge mallet. His eyebrows shot up beneath his mask, at the appropriate but out of the blue weapon. He turned his upper body to look at the wielder of the weapon, seeing Harley Quinn with a deadly serious expression. She tried to pull the mallet back, but it held fast in Spider-Man's palm.

"Harley what the..." Again the tingle warned of something behind him. His head swung around and was met with a stunning beauty, with crimson hair, red puffy inviting lips, and deep black/green eyes. He froze in place, even if the back of his skull throbbed. The woman rolled up the bottom of his mask, and smiled seductively. Peter's mind numbed in a sudden pleasure, as her lips drew closer to his.

Her lips pressed against his in a kiss he would remember forever. Her eyes bore into his lenses. 'Such stunning eyes.' This was the last coherent thought he had before the world went dark.

"The name's Poison Ivy, thank you for saving me." Spider-Man fell to the ground in a heap, as Ivy touched her ruby lips with two fingers, smiling sweetly.

_'Dun dun dunnnnn. Cliffhanger. That's right, I went there. Well this was just the start of my time here. I hope you'll come back for more of my interesting life. Chow.'_

**Chapter 1 End**

**A/N:** Hi hi, Wiggles-n-stuff here with a new story. For those who read it I hope you enjoyed it. I plan on running with this one for a while, so expect more. That said I cannot give you a steady time table so please be patient with the installments. Review and Respond please. Alright see you all later. Adios.


	2. Chapter 2: I'm Being Used, Aren't I

**Chapter 2: I'm Being Used, Aren't I...**

**Dedications: **(I forgot to do this last chapter) Thanks to FrivolousThoughts for his chapter of "Caught in The Web" that brought Peter and Pam together. It inspired me so much, and this story is because of it. Thank you Friv.

**Key**: _'Words'_ = Peter 4th walling it

_'Well hey there. Honestly thought I might have spooked you off with my...Oop. Hold on a sec.'_

Spider-Man web lined the back of two muggers trying to escape the darkening, slightly snow covered alley. A light tug and the two men flew backward, landing hard on the ground before our red and blue tights wearing hero.

"One would think you'd learn from past hooligans. I'm the best Tag player there is. I'm unbeatable at this game." Snipping the lines, Spidey looks down on the two angry ski-mask wearing hoods, mist slipping out his mouth, and his fists resting on his hips.

"You ain't gonna be joking when I cut you open bug!" The larger of the two got to his feet quickly, and produced a switchblade from his pant's pocket.

_'For the love of me, didn't these guys ever go to school? It's arachnid. Seriously even the Joker got it right and that guy is crazy. Oh well I'm always up for improv. Excuse me again.'_

Raising his hands up in a scared manner, Peter trembles a bit, and shies away from the knife. "Oh no knifes, my only weakness. Please mister I surrender, just stop waving that scary and dangerous thing at me." The thug's right eye twitches violently, and he thrust forward with the weapon.

"Stop mocking me!" The hooded man all but spits at him. The stab is dodged by Peter swaying his body left, with his hands clasped together in a pleading gesture.

"No sir I swear I'm terrified of that little knife. Please don't hurt me." A horizontal swipe of the blade was missed when Spider-Man feinted backward, pretending to be feint _'Get it...'_ , even going so far as to place the back of his right hand on his masked forehead. "Woe is me. This scary man threatens my life. Whatever shall I do?" Pete uses his best southern accent on that one. _'Seriously I should have taken up acting. Heck I already know I could be good at it. Thank you Wanda.'_

"You're pissin me MMPH!" Webbing slapped over the thugs mouth, and Spider-Man raises to a standing position, wagging his index finger at the man.

"Now now there is no need for a potty mouth young man." _'Pfffft...Hah hah hah. I don't even mean to sometimes and I crack gems.'_ Red from rage the man lunged at the hero one more time. Spidey side steps right from the thrust, and brings his right hand up.

"Oh-lay!" The mugger falters forward before getting a spandex foot to the butt, sending him into some garbage cans hard. Webbing launched over the Mugger #1, sticking his unconscious body to the wall.

"Now I hope you didn't run off while I was playi..." Spider-Man says, turning back around to find...

"I got him Spider." A female voice announced.

_'OHMIGOD!'_ "OHMIGOD!" Pete screams like a girl and flails his arms in front of him, taken completely by surprised. Freezing a moment later, he is so glad that his face is covered in a mask. Cause he's sure the expression he's making right now, Huntress would have a field day with.

_'GAH MY TICKER! …..Whew. I HATE when they do that. Holy moly, I swear my Gotham allies are gonna be the death of me one day. Geeze. If there is one thing that these people know how to do, and do disturbingly well, it's sneak up on a guy. Hell, since they're friends they don't even register on my Spider Sense anymore, unless they are actually trying to surprise me. Seriously though, I'm the black sheep of the heroes in this city. Me being all flashy and out in the open during all times of the day. Everyone here usually comes out at night, and they sneak around everywhere. I'm stealthy, don't get me wrong, I can sneak with the best of them, but people like Batman and Huntress here, they have sneaking down as natural as breathing.'_

Huntress grew a very cocky smile, and swayed her hips to the right, resting her hands on them. _'And some nice hips she has. Hey I told you before, I'm a guy, sue me.'_

"Geeze Vie, you just about made me jump out of my suit." Unfeezing himself from his ridiculous pose, Spider-Man rests his right hand over his heart, and breaths deep a few times. Huntress was in her normal business attire, a one piece swimsuit-like body suit, a large rectangle cut in front revealing her belly down to just above her hips. She had black stockings, violet covered boots, violet colored arm gloves, a deep purple cape, and a violet modified domino mask which extended into high points at the top. She has ebony hair, a slightly pale complexion, and blue eyes. She quirked an eyebrow up, and her smirk grew playful.

"Good thing you didn't. There are just some things in this world I'm better off not seeing." She chided, as she drug the unconscious Mugger #2 past Peter, and over to his buddy.

"Ouch, and here I though Catwoman had claws." Spider-Man followed her over, and webbed up Mugger #2 next to Mugger #1. She rolls her eyes at him, and crosses her arms over her chest.

_'I suppose it's background time again. Cause everybody likes to know more about sexy kick butt ladies. Who we have here is Helena Bertinelli aka Huntress. She's another of us tragic past heroes. Her family was killed by an assassin in a plot by some wackjob called Mandragora. Apparently the reason behind this was she was born into one of Gotham City's major crime families, and the guy didn't want loose ends. Yeah, a lot of the heroes of Gotham have pretty tragic back stories I won't lie. This is probably why I have more of a kinship with them than most the rest of the League, and other hero teams. Anyway, she grew up wanting revenge and striving to make it happen. She started her career as the Huntress as more of an anti-hero, due to her brutal methods in dealing with criminals. She's calmed down quite a bit, but she still has that edge to her.'_

_'Needless to say we didn't hit it off great. Considering how serious she is about the job, and my...well...lack of professionalism most of the time, really got on her nerves. Heck Batman worked with me easier than she did initially. Mind you Bats scares the hell out of me, so I'm usually on my best behavior around him. After a while of me hanging with the Birds though, she, like Pam, got used to me. At least enough to not try and beat me with her bo staff every time we'd talk.'_

"You have no idea." _'The glint in her eyes says keep pushing, but the tingling in my head yells at me to stop. What to do?' _Peter faced her and blank lenses looked her up and down a few times.

"I don't see anything sharp on you Vie. You're all nice soft curves from what I'm seeing." Peter's tone of voice was joking, but that didn't help. _'Kids when a dangerous lady challenges you to continue with the quips, you stop, and let her win. Just a tip for the future. Unless you're me, cause I just can't take a hint._' Helena's eyes narrow threateningly, and a scowl graces to her face. SPIDER SENSE! She grabs her collapsible bo staff on her belt, and swings it forward, it extends and is nearly touching Spidey's neck. Immediately Peter's hands go up in surrender, and he lets out some worried chuckles.

"Not okay?" The nervous inflection is in his voice, made her scowl soften, just a tiny bit.

"Not okay..." Huntress flips her metal staff around in her hand, and it retracts. With practiced ease she slips it back into the belt slot, right out of the twirl. Her frown turns up into a small smirk. "...but thanks for the compliment." _'Dodged a bullet there Parker.' _Helena turns away from him and pulls out her grappling gun.

"Soooo...to what do I owe this little visit? Normally you're not on my garbage pick-up route." A familiar Pshh of the grappling gun is heard, and when Spider-Man turns around Huntress was ready to climb the building.

"Just in the neighborhood." Helena sounds a bit hesitant. _'She isn't the best liar around her friends. I know exactly why she's here. It's nice to know they are worried about me after what happened.'_ The gun's spool reeled and she was in the air, and up the building before Peter can ask anything further.

"And left alone with garbage duty again, wonderful." Spider-Man shrugs, picks up the two knocked out muggers laying amongst the trash cans, and starts to walk them toward the street.

"Hey Spider. Are you still coming to the poker game tonight at the Nest?" Huntress calls down from the roof, making Spidey look up. A smile crosses his face.

"Wouldn't miss it Vie. See you there." And with that she vanishes from over the edge of the roof. _'Oh boy! Looks like its time to get me some extra Christmas funds. They have yet to learn the reason why I was never allowed to play games of chance with the Avengers back home. Heh heh heh, this is gonna be a good night.'_

_'Don't worry I haven't forgotten you guys. It's just a little hard to regale you with back story while I'm at work. Let's see where was I...oh yeah, mine and Pam's first kiss.'_

Peter's eyes moved rapidly behind his closed lids. The dream, if you wanted to call it that, was intense. Images kept flashing from Wanda's fear filled face her reaching for Peter, to Joker launching a rocket at him laughing the entire time, to ruby red lips and seductive black/green eyes closing in on him. All-in-all not the worse dream he's ever had, but still it all came at him again and again fast. Until finally his eyes refused to stay closed, and shot open quickly. He immediately regretted it, as the lights in the room were exceedingly blinding. _'Springsteen you're an ass. Cause it is in no way pleasant.'_ His brown eyes closed back up mostly, letting them adjust to the whirling world around him. _'_The hell am I? Last thing I remember was...'

"...kind of costume is this? I've never seen fabric that could do this without some sort of technology backing it." A curious woman's voice made Pete's eyes open a bit more in search of it's source. Whoever's voice it was, hers was that kind of soft pleasant voice that just makes men dumb. _'Personally I always thought Blossom's voice was made for radio. In no way am I insulting her looks, cause daaammmmnnnn, but she just has that kind of voice I could listen to for hours.'_ His eyes finally focused enough to look down and see the woman in question. Her hands were running over the white and black material in them. She had a pale emerald complexion, long lustrous crimson hair, and plant-like clothing.

"Dunno Red, but whatever it's made of I want some. Soft, smooth, oh so form fitting, and can change color. I gotta ax Spidey where he got it, when he comes round." That voice Peter did recognize, it was Harley. His eyes moved over to her, who had the other end of the white and black suit rubbing up against her painted white cheek. Peter registered what the fabric they were examining was, and his hazy mind went into auto chat.

"Iz...It's made of generation three Unstable Molecules. Not only can it change color and pattern, its very resistant to extreme temperatures, weight, pressures..." The two women looked up at Spider-Man, a look of slight surprise on "Red's" face, and a quickly changed to a smile on Quinn's. 'Wait...why is my costum... no.' Pete's eyes shot open, his stupor instantly gone. Darting from both woman, to his full suit in their hands, and then slowly down to his... naked body. _'They didn't even buy me dinner first. Typical.' _

"WHY AM I NAKED!" He shouted scared and went to cover his shame, but his arms and legs wouldn't move from their spots. Furious at his limbs Pete looks to them each, panic welling up with each limb he saw. All were wrapped up and pulled outward by thick vines. Then his mind registered the other fact he missed since his awakening. "WHY AM I IN THE AIR NAKED!" _'There is a first time for everything, and believe it or not this wasn't one of them for me. Well the air thing was new, but when you're romantic with a woman like Felicia, this thing was bound to happen. Being supers eventually get's you thinking in the bedroom. Nuff said.' _Then the damning ramification of his situation popped into his mind, Spider-Man was unmasked. For all Peter knew he could just have been transported to another city on his world. His mind went defensive, pensive, and timid._'PARKER MODE ACTIVATE.' _

"You are naked because we didn't want any surprises when you awoke Spider-Man. There have been one to many defeats because of the unknown. So we stripped you to make sure." The red headed plant lady said in an serious no nonsense tone. _'She was actually being professional, and looking me in the face. Eye contact and everything. That put her a few points higher in my book, but also stabbed my ego repeatedly. Bubbles on the other hand...' _Harley was blushing and giggling slightly. She seemed to forget that their rescuer was undressed when she got her hands on his costume. Now that she remembered however, she was much less professional that her friend. She brazenly looked Peter up and down once, before her smile widened a bit more. _'I silently blame every member of the Bat Family for that to this day.'_

"Not like ya really have to much ta be ashamed about Spidey." She giggled again, and locked eyes with the hard blushing man. _'Ego boost. Thanks Harley.'_

"Th...thanks..." Pete squeaked out somehow, barely having any of his Spider Bravado left. "...Umm...can I have my costume back...please." Ivy never took her eyes off Peter's face, while Harley looked down at the costume in her hands.

"Not until you tell us everything we want to know. Starting with who you are, and why you are here?" The green lady said in her no-nonsense tone which commanded his attention, more so when she crossed her arms under his impressive bust. This put his mind to ease a bit. 'They don't know who I am at least, and don't seem to recognize Spider-Man. Whew.' Shy Peter just darted his gaze from woman, to woman, to the world around him. He was in a garden, a very large and rain forest-y garden, but there were walls. He tested the vines, checking them against his restrained strength. There was give, and he could break free. His eyes landed on the table near the wall, his web shooters and belt were there, they looked intact. If he could take them by surprise he could escape. Leaving only his dignity behind at least.

"I'm just you're friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and I was in the...uh neighborhood." Parker was a well renowned linguist in the suit, out of it though not so much. The red head's eyes narrowed, obviously not amused at his answer.

"Funny. You should realize your situation is less advantageous the more you prolong my patience Spider-Man. Resistance is futile." Poison Ivy added threatening to her tone.

"Uh Scotty, you...you can beam me up anytime now." Pete said sheepishly, which instantly got both ladies up in arms defensively. _'Even as my mild mannered self I can't resist a good Star Trek pun when I hears it.'_ The Green lady looked around the room, as if expecting an ambush. Harley stared hard at Spidey, expecting him to vanish. It took a few moments, and a raised brow from Peter, but suddenly it sank in. Harleen's cheeks puffed out, and then she let out a roar of laughter. Her voice was melodic when she laughed, something he noted. She dropped his costume on the ground, and quickly wrapped her arms around her stomach and sides. Peter actually began chuckling along with her contagious laugh. Even more so when she bent forward attempting to catch her breath between laughs. 'I knew I liked her.' He thought. _'I actually liked Harleen from the very beginning. Aside from the whole trying to whack me over the head with a mallet thing, this little joke just cemented it.'_ Poison Ivy just stared incredulously between the two of them, her guard slacking, and confusion rampant on her lovely features.

When she moved toward Harleen, who was the rolling on the dirt, Peter took his chance. Flexing his all his legs and arms towards his body at once, the vines quickly snapped, and he fell to the ground. Gracefully he landed in a crouch in front of a stunned Ivy, and still laughing Harley. Peter dived forward between the two, and scooped up his costume, before rolling forward into a dash. Pamela at this point regained enough composure to jump into action. Quinn had also stopped laughing when she saw a pale caucasian blur past her, and she was getting to her feet.

"You cannot escape!" Ivy shouted, by the time Spider-Man reached the table, and grabbed up his web shooters. He already had his mask back on, and his suit was on up to his waist by now, back in its red and blue. _'You'd be surprised how quick you get about changing on the fly in the super hero business. Me more so cause I'm on the street a lot, and the street is random as hell.'_ SPIDER SENSE! Spidey leapt forward into at flip, narrowly avoiding several vines wrapping around his legs. He landed against the concrete wall and stuck fast. Quickly he slid on his right web shooter, and thanks to his Spider Sense avoided another group of vines striking out toward him. He back flipped up the wall, and then spun around after he put the second device on his left hand. In what could be described as amazing, he scaled the wall at incredible speeds, coming to the ceiling quickly.

"I'm certainly gonna try Red. Thanks for the hospitality, but I don't wanna overstay my welcome. Besides I have a Witch to look for." Poison Ivy felt a surge of anger at the use of Harleen's pet name, but kept on him. She could not let him escape and leak out their home. Harley knew the consequences as well, and was already jumping up and swinging on the thick plants and small trees, towards Spider-Man.

"C'mon Spidey stay a while. I promise _I_ won't hurt you." The harlequin said half cheery, half serious.

"It's not you I'm worried about Harls. It's Red down there." Peter rebuked, sounding much more like when they first met, confident. He came to the metal shutters in the middle of the ceiling, and quickly looked them over, while he dodged several more vines. They were quickly growing in volume and speed.

"Hey it's rude to use others pet names guy. That's mine to use exclusively mista." Harley Quinn burst from the flora canopy on a giant leaf that rose her up toward him. She quickly produced several orbs, that looked like marbles, from somewhere _'And to this day I still have no idea where she hides these things. I mean there is no where to hide anything in that outfit. Honestly I've tried to find out, watching her when we were out doing stuff, but all that gets me is a playful wink and a distracting wiggle of her derriere. It's very...redirecting when she does that.'_, and threw them at the ceiling sticking man. His six sense tingled a bit from them, but he decided to not ignore it, and pushed his top half off the roof. When the marbles struck the metal shutters they exploded into a cloud of yellow gases. Peter web lined to the nearest tree, and avoided the gases all together.

"Sorry Harley, I didn't mean to. So what do I call her then She-Go, Theadora, Marta, Oola, _'I watch a lot of TV if you couldn't guess. It's not easy to keep up with the trends in banter. Props for getting three of them right without looking them up.'_ Shulkie...wait that one's taken." As he looked down he didn't notice the budding flower growing next to his head. SPIDER SENSE! Peter turned his head to see the flower bloom suddenly, and it sprayed a mist of violet pollen in his face. _'Damn me and my perpetual need to look at what's coming.'_ His reflexes kicked in to late, and he kicked off the tree, heading for a branch. Then things got fuzzy and disorienting behind the mask. His foot missed the branch completely, and he started to fall. Reflex kicked in again, and his right hand grabbed the branch in passing. He held onto it as the room spun around. A light vibration on the limb made Spidey look up. Harley was squatting above him expertly balanced on the thin branch.

"You are fun to play with Spider. But...This little Spidey went to the market." She pulled his picky finger back, his strength was already faltering thanks to the flower. "This little Spidey stayed home..." There went the right middle finger. "This little Spidey had roast beef..." Middle finger. "And this little Spidey had..." Peter stared drunkenly up at her, trying to collect his mind.

"An extra few seconds to think please." Spider-Man said his words slurred a bit. His index finger was already burning from the strain of holding him up.

"..." She gave him a huge sweet smile, and for brief moment he had hope. "...none." Peter plummeted down into the jungle. He bounced and smashed into plenty of things on his way down, crying out 'ouches' with each hit, before finally slamming into the grass covered ground below on his back.

"Ouch ouch ouch all the way down." Harley shouted from above in a sing song voice, before she started to come down as gracefully as a feather. Spider-Man's head lolled to the side as he groaned in pain. He attempted to sit up, but then he felt a weight situate itself on his lower stomach. His white lenses opened a bit, as if they were real eyes, as he looked up into the green goddess's eyes not more than a few inches above his. _'Oh I forgot to mention, thanks to the Future Foundation suit I'm wearing, my mask lenses widen and fall along with my expressions. Neat huh?'_ As Ivy drew her face closer, Peter felt something soft press down on his still bare chest, and he already had a great guess as to what it was. _'It was her melons if you couldn't guess...Heh melons, plant lady. HAH!'_ He managed the break from her gaze to steal a glance down and confirm his suspicions. 'Yep she's laying on me...not the worst way to go I suppose.' He mused, before her fingers sliding under his mask's hem brought his eyes back up.

Pamela was slowly seductively leaking out her pheromones, and at the same time using her straddling position to keep Spider-Man's arms pinned under her knees. She slowly rolled his mask up, rubbing herself teasingly over his body. If Peter wasn't so heavily out of it, he was sure he would be feeling awesome right now. _'Freaking Parker Luck right?! Universal joke butt.' _Now his mind was getting hazy for a total other reason, as her pheromones finally started to take effect.

"Uh wow this is nice and all..." He dreamily spoke, and his mask slipped up past his nose.

"My name is Poison Ivy." She almost purred, her lips inches from his, and closing excruciatingly slow.

"Perfect name Ivy, but...uh woo...uh could you please stop stripping me." There was little resistance in Peter's voice at this point. His mask was finally pulled off, and tossed to the ground somewhere he didn't care.

"Why? It's not like you have anything I haven't already seen?" Her breath was the pleasant type of hot against his lips. _'My face was so red there, I thought my brain would drown. Then again I wasn't really using it much at this point.' _

"Trah...true, but I kinda...would like to...escape now." He was speaking very softly now, drowning in her eyes, and lust. Ivy cupped his cheek in her hand, and tilted her head very slightly, pouting. _'I swear women get away with murder with those pouts. I'm actually pretty sure Pam has, but like I said I'd rather not think about that. Back to Spider-Jelly.'_

"You want me to stop Spider? But I want us to get to know each other much much better." She closed her eyes, and the very short distance between their lips. The kiss wasn't anything anyone would consider deep, or sincere, but it did it's job, and Spider-Man didn't care. Whatever resistance or will power he had left was gone. Everything in his mind was filled with the woman on top of him. He wanted to please her, and do whatever he could for her. _'Women, am I right guys? And for the ladies out there, I don't actually mean it, please don't hurt me.'_

Dr. Isley raised herself up, a victorious smile gracing her lips, which she ran her tongue over once. "Now let us try this again Spider-Man. Who are you, and where do you come from?" Peter's eyes were focused solely on Pam's face, his body was slack, and he had the overpowering urge to answer her.

"I'm Spider-Man, and I am from New York City, New York." He answered dreamily.

"I mean your birth name you fool. What is your birth name?" Pam sighed, her right index finger was already rubbing her temple. There was a soft thump, and she turned her head to see Harley approaching them. She looked rather curious to hear this as well.

"Peter Benjamin Parker." He answered slowly, almost as if trying to resist her influence.

"Peter Parker...not exactly a stand out name. What are your powers, and how did you come by them?" She asked. He gave her the basic run down of his powers, neglecting to mention some of the more subtle ones that he usually didn't mention. _'Like having a high immunity to toxins, and being able to build up resistances to them.' _

"...and my powers come from the bite of a radioactive spider." Both Pamela and Harleen were rather intrigued by his list of powers, and origin. It wasn't unusual for science experiments to become something great and powerful, the woman sitting on him was a perfect example.

"Ya said ya weren't from here, what didja mean?" Harley asked this time. Peter probably didn't have to answer her, as his allegiance was to Ivy at this point, but he did anyway. This raised Pam's right brow up out of curiosity.

"I'm from New York City. I was helping Wanda catch a rogue mutant, when her powers were force activated and was sucked into a portal along with her. Next thing I know I was lying on top of a warehouse near where I found you two." Peter's mind was getting clearer slowly. He was blinking more, and wasn't finding Ivy quite as all that as he did.

"That doesn't explain why we haven't heard of someone of your powers there." Ivy's brilliant mind went over what they knew. "How long have you been Spider-Man?"

"Roughly ten years or so. I've been Spider-Man since I was fifteen." Pam and Harleen shared a questioning glance.

"I've never heard of him before, and considerin' how long he's been a cape that's surprisin'. You'd think that the League would have picked him up by now." Dr. Quinzel said, as she looked down to their captive, who's blinks were getting longer, and his head was moving a bit more around.

"True. Well let's see how far removed he actually is." Ivy returned her attention to Spider-Man. "Do you know of Batman?"

"Bat...wha who's Batman. Ow my head." Both woman's eyes shot open. The entire world knew who the Dark Knight was, and Peter not knowing meant something greater. He may have come from another world all together. Then Ivy realized he was moving under her, quickly coming out of her drugged kiss. This man was dangerous if he should escape. And if the display earlier was any indication he could if he wanted to. The only option that came to her was silencing him.

Peter's mind and body began to clear up. His immune system was fighting off the toxins quickly, and he felt he was coming back around. Until he felt soft lips against his. His eyes opened and he enjoyed the feeling, then his body pulsed in pain. All his muscles tensed in excruciating fire. He wanted to yell, but her mouth covered his, and kept him silent.

"Red don't kill him." Harleen said apprehensively, placing her hand on her best friend's shoulder and pulled her back into a sitting position. At this point Peter, was silently screaming, his eyes wide and pupils contracted. His head thrashed, but his body couldn't move against Ivy's weight. Ivy stared at her friend suspicion in her gaze.

"Harley he knows where we live, and he's to dangerous to let free. If he escapes he will reveal us to the other heroes, and our lives will be thrown into the chaos again. Do you want that?" Ivy asked calmly, but the underlying harshness wasn't lost on Harleen.

"I know I know, but he saved our lives, and he mustn't know who we are, or he wouldn't of saved ya or helped me. Please." Harleen was sitting with her knees tucked under her, next to Pam and Pete. Her eyes were pleading with Ivy's stern ones.

"He's obviously the hero type Harley. We can't let him roam free, he knows to much. Even if he saved our lives." Pam took a quick glance at Peter's writhing form, his veins were bulging and a violet red coloration. It was almost done.

"We can keep him here then. Keep him under you're control. If he's a new hero than we can use him. We can use his strength to keep us safe. If he doesn't know the capes here then they don't know him either. Think about it." Harleen's psychology schooling kicked in, as her intelligent side came out. Even if she just liked this stranger cause he was interesting and funny, he didn't deserve to die because of one mistake in saving the wrong people. She pandered to Ivy's ideal of safety and secrecy, hoping to save his life.

"Hmmm. You do have a point." Pamela looked down to the twitching Spider-Man. He was only occasionally spasming under her now. About a half minute away from death, which was already longer than any other normal man would have lived. She took one last look at Harley's pleading gaze, and let out a long breath.

"Fine." Ivy bent down again, and mixed the poisons in her own bloodstream, before kissing Peter on the lips a third time. Quickly his veins sunk back in and lost their hard coloration, his spasms subsided, and his eyes rolled back to the front of his head. "However if he slips up once I shall not hesitate to end him. I expect him to be of use to us. You better be right about this Harley." Ivy moved slowly up off Spider-Man, and walked away from both he and Harleen without another word. She exited the garden, leaving Quinzel to deal with the rest.

"Thanks Red." She looked down to the still hero on the ground before her. Spider-Man was rendered unconscious from the sheer pain his body just went through.

_'Curious as to why I wasn't commenting throughout that whole section? Mainly because it was a very important point in our relationship, but also I was pretty out of it and only have memory fragments of the interrogation. Hey, I can shut up and be serious when I need to. Geeze you people give me way to little credit. Anyway I actually heard most of it second hand from Harleen. It wasn't until I woke up that I learned of what happened, and the new life I was about to have forced on me.'_

For the third time in the span of a day Spider-Man woke up dazed and confused. _'It's not a habit I suggest picking up.'_ He went to cover his throbbing head with a hand, but found both again incapacitated. The lenses on his mask blinked open a bit, as light bombarded his eyes. 'Phew at least my mask and costume are on.' He was happy for that little ray of sunshine.

"Ugh. Again...c'mon it's not funny anymore." Peter grumbled weakly, as he tested the bonds holding him down. His entire body, up to his neck, was restrained. When his vision adapted to the light, and he could looked down he found he was strapped to something by very thick and twice overlapping vines. 'This again. Damn I was hoping it was all a dream.' He thought. Looking around the room, he saw it was filled with boxes, and a bunch of stuff, even some bags of fertilizer were in the corner. It was a storage room he guessed. _'And eventually my new room.' _The light inside the room came from two halogen strips on the ceiling, which was concrete. The rest of the room was made of concrete walls and floor. There was ventilation at least, cause it wasn't freezing for this time of year. The door to the room was open.

"Uh hello. Harley, Ivy, anybody there. I'm awake now, and ready to go home." Peter said loudly out the open door. Sounds of movement came from wherever was outside the door.

"Red he's up." Harley shouted from outside the room. Then she herself walked into the room, her jester cap pulled off, revealing she was a blond with two pig tails. She hadn't removed her makeup yet though, and what flesh Peter could see she was slightly tanned. "Welcome back Petey."

That instantly got Spider-Man to stiffen, and his lenses narrow slightly. 'How...' _'In the immortal words of one almost immortal Logan. Ahem. *Gruff voice* "Kinda hard to say no to a pretty redhead." Wise man that guy.' _

"We were hoping you could stay a few nights. Ya know, catch up and all that." Harley joked from behind a grin. She was leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed.

"As fun as that sounds chessboard, I have to get going and find my ride home. She gets angry if I'm even a second late." Peter tried to not sound as if he was talking through his teeth. Even if he might have been. _'Just a bit.'_ He flexed his muscles under the vines, attempting to gains some sort of leverage.

"You mean Wanda?" And that got him to stop struggling all together. 'How in the...' A red housecoat clad Poison Ivy walked in before Peter could ask.

"If you are curious Spider-Man, you told us everything relevant about yourself when I had you drugged. So we know who you are Peter Parker." She strolled up to the table he was strapped to, stopping just shy of a foot from his face, and placing her hands on her hips.

"There are much easier ways to get my personal information, like maybe look up my Facebook page." _'Have you been on Facebook lately? I swear some people live to update on that thing. I don't know how Spider-Girl can manage that whole twitter thing and still have her identity intact.'_ Peter quipped, trying to not sound so irate. Not only have these women saw him in his birthday suit, they also know his secret identity. Harls _'Bless her soul'_ chuckled at his joke quietly.

"Peter Benjamin Parker. You don't exist." His lenses curved into a questioning look.

"What do you mean I don't exist? I'm not dead am I? You didn't turn me into the amazing Spider-Zombie did you?" Ivy just shook her head at him.

"No, you literally don't exist, at least not on our world." She said calmly, but the information she got not minutes ago confirmed her suspicions. Neither Peter Parker nor Spider-Man were known to anyone.

"My contacts ran your name, age, home, and Spider-Man identity through their systems. There are no known heroes by your alias, and the only alias close enough to yours is the Black Spider. Both Harley and I know of him, and you are not him. His abilities are close, but in no way superhuman, and you aren't a new legacy, because he is still in operation. _'Dang not even a day and I am already stepping into copyright infringement.'_" Pamela paused, checking for his reaction. He was oddly quiet, and his mask wasn't giving anything away, so she continued.

"There are no people by your name, general age range, and description anywhere in New York either, according to my contact. You, Parker, do not exist here." She carefully watched him now. As he hadn't made a move or comment, something was up.

"Well that cements it, I'm in another dimension. I was hoping it would've been a parallel world, or maybe an alternate time-line, at least then I can chat with Julia about getting me out of here." Peter responded a few seconds later, exasperated, but taking it well. He let out a loud sigh, and rested his head back on the table. Ivy's eyes narrowed, at what he said and how he said it.

"You seem to be taking this rather well considering." She said cautiously.

"This isn't my first experience dealing with this kind of thing. You kinda get used to it after like the third time." He looked up at a incredulous Poison Ivy, and then to an openly gaping Harley Quinn. His lenses shifted between the two a few times. "What? You've never been to another reality or time?" The blond at the door shook her head vehemently. Ivy however was a bit more conservative, and just shook her head once. _'That's right, the Doctor's got nothing on me.'_

"Wow and I thought I was sheltered. I suppose you've never been to another planet either." He tossed that one out as a joke, but their further surprised reactions brought him to a chuckle. Pam shook her head, clearing her thoughts, and getting her game face back on.

"I already know I'm going to regret sparing your life." She said. Peter's 'eyes' focused on her.

"I've been told that by pretty much everyone." He joked back, but her hard gaze quieted him for a moment.

"You owe Harley back there yours Spider-Man. She saved you from death by my hand." She was serious, dead serious, about it. Peter moved his head up to look at Harley, who just smiled and waved. SPIDER SENSE! His head tried to turn to Ivy, but she caught his head in one hand, and lifted up the hem of his mask a bit, exposing his neck. A vine crept down her free arm and put some sort of plant seed there. He only managed to glimpse the tiny seed before she put it against his neck.

"What are you...!" His voice was cut when his neck felt like hundreds of pins were stabbing him at once. _'I may have a pretty high threshold for pain, but needles, like paper cuts, still hurt.'_ Pam forced the seed to sprout, breaking past his skin, and burrowing into his neck. The roots ripped past veins and muscles until they reached the base of his skull, and wrapped around his spinal cord. Peter's eyes were actually wet around the edges by the time she finished planting the seed. He let out long haggard breaths, as she pulled her hands away from him.

"Gah lady...you are mean. Wha...what did you..." He stammered.

"What I did was plant a specially grown seed on your spinal cord. My child will embed its roots deep into your spinal column and brain. At any time I can have my child severe your central nervous system, or simply apply pressure to it. This will..."

"Effectively end my life or immobilize me. That about right Ivy?" His lenses were slits as he interrupted her. Peter's words were harsher than any the two women heard yet. Harley actually cringed slightly. _'I can joke about pretty much anything, even my supposed death, but this was an invasion of the most perverse. So yeah I was miffed. Don't worry though, I got better.' _

"Correct. As of now you are ours." Pam had played her power move, and succeeded. Her job here was done. _'I much preferred the sexy power play over this one. Damn you Parker Luck.' _She headed to the door, and Harleen moved out of the way, into the room.

"And if I refuse?" She halted in the doorway, her house coat hugging her body. She didn't bother to turn around as she lifted her left hand up so he could see it. SPIDER SENSE! She made as if she was gripping something in the hand, and Spider-Man convulsed in blinding white pain. His body locked up, and he couldn't move, but the pain continued to grow. She let her hand relax again, and his straining body slacked against the table. Ivy left, and Harley moved up next to him.

Again he was breathing hard, but at least the pain was subsiding. Quinzel pulled up a stool that was in the room, and sat down.

"Not...not the nicest way...ta...to ask me to stay the night." Peter breathed out.

"Red's not known fer her like or trust of men. She'll warm up to ya...hopefully. Heck ya bein alive is already a step forward." She said with a smile on her face. _'It's really hard to be mad at Bubbles when she tries to lighten the mood. She just has that kind of personality...well you know when she's not being Harley Quinn at least. I dunno, maybe I just try to see the best in people.' _

"Here's hoping. Thanks for that by the way." Peter was steadying his breathing, trying to come to grips with the situation.

"No problem Hun. I figure it was only fair." She beamed her pearly whites at him.

"Right. So since I'm gonna be here for a while, mind if I get your name? Considering you already know mine...and have seen my intimates." He turned his masked face to her, and she giggled. Then she grabbed his mask hem, which he tensed. _'It's really hard to get used to having your second skin pulled off of you without your consent. Though it's much easier if it's a pretty girl.'_ She pulled his mask off with little resistance from him. _'I wonder why?' _His now visible brown eyes followed her movements as she took off her domino mask and wiped away her makeup on his mask. _'She cleans off her makeup with third generation Unstable Molecules. I'm...I'm...not sure what to say to that.' _Harley comes back from behind his mask, and her face is clean and smiling. _'I didn't find this out till after, but my suit actually burned away the makeup after a while. Third generation Unstable Molecules for the win!' _

"Harleen Quinzel. Working name Harley Quinn. It's nice to meetcha." She says as jolly as ever, and extends her right hand out. Peter looks at her hand for a few seconds, she's still smiling at him, and he rolls his eyes jokingly.

"Peter Parker. A pleasure Harleen, though it's kinda hard to shake hands." He returned her smile, which she gave him a questioning tilt of her head. "Kinda tied up at the moment you know." Peter chuckled.

"OH! Yeah. Well then." Harley's _'Trust me I didn't give her the nickname Bubbles in passing. It was well earned.' s_mile only blossomed further. She moved her hand up, and lightly patted his forehead. Peter's smile grew bigger as well. 'This is gonna be interesting, to say the least.'

"Well Harleen..."

"Harley's fine." She interrupted.

"Mike." He continued. She tried to hide a giggle. _'It was cute.' _"So what am I in for then?" Harley tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"You're gonna be our hero." She perked up, her hands on the stool edge inside her thighs, and her legs pushed up, as her feet were on the metal connecting bars. _'But this was cuter.'_

_'Don't get me wrong, I was still very frustrated with my sudden lap-spider title. Ever since I was a kid I masked my insecurities with witty banter and false courage behind the mask. My life had just been quite literally uprooted and planted in a potting jar. I was stuck here until I could either somehow get rid of the thing around my central nervous system cluster, or pissed Pam off enough to have her kill me. It was a lot of information to process. At least I seemed to have some sort of friend in Harleen. If it wasn't for her I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here telling you this. I'd have been dead months ago, and helping fertilize Eden. I owe her a lot more than I can say. She is the wind beneath my wings, the anchor to my listless ship, my cuddly clown on a rainy day. God, even I found that sappy. But more or less it was true for those first few months.' _

Spider-Man shot another web line to one of the buildings ahead of him. Pushing his feet forward he speeds into the swing. He flys by a billboard that had a clock on it, and notes the time, 10:21 PM. A cold blast of wind chills him, and he shoots another line to the building ahead of him.

_'Sorry bout that. Just making sure I'm not gonna be late for the Bird's poker night. I know they are actually just wanting to make sure I'm okay, after what happened last month. Heck, I even had a visit from Arrow and Flash just last week. It was actually pretty nice, they even brought me some flowers. No, seriously they did. Out of everybody in the Super Friends, Barry and Ollie are probably the guys who I get along with the best. They are the kind of guys who take and give jokes like pros, so my kinda guys. I actually met Ollie thru his wife Dinah. She's a founding member of the Birds, connect the dots. By the way, the Leaguers hate when I call us the Super Friends. I've been given mean glares many a time by several of them for it. Still surprised some of them haven't strait up smacked me for it.' _

_'Oh yeah I haven't told you yet, I'm a part of the Justice League myself. Well more of an honorary member, but hey I've helped them stop a few of those doomsday plots. Backtracking the conversation to the original subject, I got in some serious trouble about a month ago, and of course Batman happened to be out of town at the time. So you can imagine how bad it got. Actually it...no wait I'll tell you another time. I'm getting pretty far ahead of the story here. So lets go back to about two hours after Bubbles introduced herself, because that's where another important point comes up.'_

After a bit of coaxing Harleen had Ivy free Peter from his restraints. Ivy did it without leaving the Garden too. This got Pete curious about the range of her powers. He'd already correctly guessed a good portion of her abilities, plant control and manipulation _'Duh.'_ , pheromone production _'Not that she really needs it.'_ , and toxin manipulation of some sort _'Dangerous kisses, check.'_ , even that she must have had some sort of plant-like physiology based on when he brought her into the Garden. However when he asked Harley about this she kept tight lipped, and changed the subject back to him, wanting another story of his adventures instead. After about two hours of hearing his stories, she fell asleep on the couch from exhaustion. He couldn't blame her. He himself had been through a lot tonight, and he wanted to join her in slumber, but his mind just wouldn't shut off. So he decided to do what he always does when his gears wouldn't stop turning, _'Go for a web sling.'_ go for a web sling.

It was as he was carefully draping a blanket he found over Harls, that he discovered a problem with that idea. That problem's name was Ivy. He hadn't seen her since she placed the seed in his neck, and he wasn't really wanting to wake her up if she was sleeping. She already seemed to not really like him, and as the old saying goes "a women needs her beauty rest". 'Great now I'm gonna be up for hou...' A door opening upstairs caught his attention. He looked up from his standing place over Harleen, and met Ivy's gold and black gaze. She squinted in disgust, before heading toward her room.

"Wait, I want to talk to you." Peter spoke in a hushed tone, that was not enough to wake the sleeping woman on the couch. Peter moved quickly to the stairs, and stopped about mid way up when Pam appeared next to the top of them, one hand on the railing. She was staring down at him with a gaze that said "make this quick arachnid, or you get my boot".

"Listen Spider, we are not friends, and we are not allies, unless I need you to be. You are nothing more than a disposable tool to me, which I can use at my leisure. So do not expect me to be willing to put up with your drivel." She was harsh and blunt, but Pete actually expected it, so it phased him little. He just had to change up his tactics around her.

"Thanks for reminding me, but I still want to ask you something. I'm hoping we can be professional enough to at least let me say my peace, and get a civil response." SPIDER SENSE! Quickly Peter raised his hands in surrender, just as Ivy was raising her free one. "Wait wait wait, there's no need to do that." Her brows furrowed at his sudden insight to her action. "Seriously I just want to ARGH!" Peter immediately dropped to a knee, as the white hot pain returned and his body started to lock up. He gripped the railing of the staircase quickly, fastening himself so he wouldn't fall down them.

"As I said I will not tolerate your antics arachnid. Ask what you want and leave me alone." _'Props to her for correctly identifying my alias's denomination.'_ She let her hand loosen it's grip, and Spidey slowly looked up at her. His expression was strained, and he tried to clear away the hard gaze he was going to give her. _'Luckily I succeeded. Hair trigger on this one I tell ya.'_

"Guh...right. Short and sweet. Okay...what exactly is my job here then?" Peter calmed himself, and turned to sit on the stairs, steadying his breathing.

"Harley didn't tell you?"

"All she said was that I was gonna be you ladys' hero." Pete brought his hands up and shrugged, before setting them down across his knees.

"That doesn't really surprise me. I shall explain then. You will continue your heroing activities. Eventually you will get the attention of the local capes, and you will infiltrate their ranks. From there you will keep us informed of their actions and plans. You for lack of a better word will be 'spying' on them for us. However you will not tell them of this, or I shall kill you." Poison Ivy told him this with a commanding authority.

"And how will you know if I tell them or not?" _'I'm not all that dumb about fishing for information. Ask the correct questions to someone with a superiority complex, and you can get their entire life story. Then again bad guys seem to monologue with the smallest of prompts.' _

"My child imbedded in you _'I suppose I should clear this up too. Pam sees any and every plant as her family. She takes a very parental role with them. Watching her tend to them, is actually like watching a mother and her children. She would make a wonderful mother...at least in my opinion.'_ has a twin, which I have within me. It will relay information to me through it's sibling in you. Allowing me to know you're movements and whereabouts." She stated rather matter of factly.

"And just how far can I go before you cant?" He asked in a mock defiant tone, still not looking up at her.

"There is no where I will not be able to track you through my childrens' connection. You shall forever be under my watch."

"At least I've upgraded from a short leash. So just to be clear, you want me to continue being me, only you want me to get the skinny on the heroes around here? You know that goes against pretty much everything I stand for right?" Peter finally looked up at her, his chocolate eyes connecting with her ebony and golden ones. There was resistance in his, and she broke a sinister smile.

"It's either that or die. Besides the longer you play along the more opportunity there is for you to somehow escape my control. No matter how inconceivable it is." _'I knew it was a challenge. She wanted me to try, to give her an excuse to have me pushing up daisys. But she was right. The longer I had out there the more time I could come up with a way to uproot this problem. She won...for now.' _Peter broke a lopsided determined smile.

"'You use that word. I do not think it means what you think it does.' They don't call me the Amazing Spider-Man for nothing." _'Even dealing with Blossom at this stage in our relationship, it is really hard to pass up a gem like that.' _Ivy cracked a ghost of a genuine smile. _'Wait...what!?'_

"'You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.'" Ivy spun on her heels after she saw the gaping dumbfounded look he gave her. _'Ivy...just quipped me...I...no words can describe...how hot she just was. Turns out The Princess Bride was her favorite movie.' _Her voice came again after she opened the door to her room. "Besides they don't call you that. Remember you don't exist." _'A freaking twofer!' _Her door closed, and Peter suddenly felt very very tired. Web slinging would have to wait, he needed sleep to make sure he wasn't just dreaming that she quipped him.

Peter walked back into the living room, and glanced at Harleen's peaceful sleeping form. The blanket rose and fell steadily, and she had a smile on her face. 'Maybe this won't be so bad...' He thought before plopping himself down in the recliner. He hated sleeping in his costume, but at least the FF costume was warm and wouldn't chafe. He stared out one of the large windows on the second floor for a long while. "Wanda I hope you are okay, wherever you are." Letting out a long sigh, Peter Parker resigned himself to his first non forced sleep that night.

_'And that's my first night with my roomies. Not quite what I'd of called a warm welcome, but not the worst welcome I've ever gotten. Just wish I could remember the kisses Pam gave me better.'_

Spider-Man lands on the side of the large old Gotham Clocktower. He climbs up the wall towards the roof. The skylight window is closed, but he moves over to it and peers in. A huge smile grows on his face, and he opens one of the panes quietly, before slowly web lining himself down. The Birds are all gathered below him, readying the nights game. _'Heh heh heh. Worth it.' _Slipping down very carefully, he holds up a finger to his masked lips, as some of the residents see him. They crack a smile as he stops just above an unsuspecting Helena.

"BOO!"

_'Welp I'm here, and probably about to be thrashed violently. So that's about all the story I got for you tonight. Till next time true believers.'_

**CHAPTER 2 END**

**A/N: **So chapter 2 closes. I want to thank everybody who followed/faved/reviewed my last chapter. I'm strait up surprised at the reception I go for the first chapter. Thank you.

So as you read this chapter was mostly story development. Hopefully you all liked it. I had a pretty good time writing it. I guess I should answer some rather common questions I got about the last chapter. Wanda will be back. I am going to leave that subject with that statement. I was amazed at how many people wanted to see her come back. I have a soft spot for her, and would never leave her in limbo like that. With this chapter I have decided to go with Peter telling the story, switching between present time and back story, with back story being the majority. However there will be a story in the present, so expect chapters based solely on present Peter and the girls. Not sure if I'll do chapter from the Girls' perspectives though. We'll have to see. I think that just about covers it. So till next time. See ya.

~ Wiggles

**koryandrs:** Thank you. I will do my best.

**alchemists19:** Then have more.

**FrivolousThoughts:** Please don't beg man, you have no reason to. I will be sure to keep this updated regularly. Yeah it took me hours of searching for some being in the Marvel verse who could intentionally make Wanda's powers go nuts. Coincidentally she just happened to have a history with Wanda, so bonus. Don't you worry I love Wanda too, I would never throw her aside like that.

**The Raggle Fraggle:** Thanks. I mean you actually made my blush a bit with your comment. I would never be so mean to Wanda. I love her to much.

**Spidey Legend:** There will be many more. As for Wanda you'll just have to keep reading to find out.

**Guest 1:** It would be interesting if he dated all three wouldn't it? I won't lie the thought has crossed my mind. Originally it was a Pete/Pam romance, but Harley is writing so well, and I love Wanda...I'm just not sure anymore who's gonna get who. Time will tell.

**mkeeg91:** Wait no more. And thank you.

**The Fool's Journey:** Thanks, here's some more.

**auron187:** I found that Peter and the Girls' relationship kinda flowed, at least once they get to know each other. The beginning of their relationship is gonna be the challenge.

**Dragonskyt:** Don't be I'm just trying to make an enjoyable story. If you think I'm good try Maximus Reborn, FrivolousThoughts, and RebukeX7. They are very talented in Spider-Man authoring.

**GumGumOnigiri:** Don't hurt me I'll update. I'll update!

**Arachnobat:** I'm right there with you. Honestly I know next to nothing about the DC verse, but this idea was to good to pass up. I hope you will keep enjoying my work.

**Tcuisine:** Cool

**DreamKnightess:** Hope you'll continue loving it.

**MrNeedsToRemoveAllFavs:** He is, but Spidey just can't help a pun when he sees the opportunity.

**Guest 2:** Here's more of the interesting idea.

**Dark Vizard447:** So much praise in so few sentences. Thank you. I hope to keep you interested.

**RebukeX7:** Hey Rebuke! Glad to hear you made it, and even more so that I got your approval. I may be needing a pointer man, you up for it? Oh and here's chapter 2.

**Never-End66:** Honestly, I have no true end in sight right now. But I do hope to come up with a journey along the way. Not sure if I'll be switching between the main three, but we'll find out as I continue. 't you worry Wanda's story will be coming around eventually.

Thanks Everybody


	3. Chapter 3: Clothes, Cameras, and a Cat

**Chapter 3: Clothes, Cameras, and a Cat...**

**Key**: _'Words'_ = Peter 4th walling it

"How the hell did you win with a pair of twos! This is bullshit!" Helena shouted, slapping her cards on the table. She forcefully pushed her chair out, and menacingly slammed her hands on the table, staring down Spider-Man from across the game. Peter cringed back a bit, slightly worried she was going to pounce on him.

"Uh...Spidey just lucky I guess." Pete rubbed the back of his masked head, his lenses turned up in sheepish sympathy.

"Calm down Helena. Just because you're loosing doesn't mean you can take it out on him." Barbara sighed, and handed over her cards to Dinah, who was dealing. She rested her elbows on the table, and steepled her hands together in front of her. "Even if he is doing surprisingly well." She added with a questioning eyebrow. Peter collected his winning cards and passed them to Dinah, keeping an eye on the suspicious look Oracle was giving him. _'She's starting to wonder! Quick man think fast!'_

"What can I say I have a great poker face." _'Nailed it.'_ Spidey is currently sticking the the wall behind him by his buttocks and feet. _'Maybe it's the spider in me, but I've always feel more comfortable sticking to things or crouching when in costume. They don't mind it anymore. Though they asked me to stop hanging upside down by web. Said it's creepy.' _Leaning forward he scooped up the small pile of money on the table, and started to sort it while the next hand was being prepped.

"Maybe...but I have a sneaking suspicion it's something else. Heaven help you if you're using some sort of visual sensor in that mask of yours." Barb said offhandedly as she leaned back in her wheelchair, looking to her mobile monitor after smirking at him. _'Hot Wheels is one hell of a multi-tasker. The entire game she's been winning steadily, keeping an eye on crime in Gotham via computer, and talking with us like she wasn't. What a woman.'_ Helena squints, hardening her gaze, and points an accusing finger at him.

"You're not cheating, are you Peter?" _'Crap, the low scary voice. Guess I better start holding back on winning.' _Huntress put a good dose of threat into her voice.

"Moi. My good Vie, I take offense to that. The day I cheat is the day I start using claws, raised lenses, and four waldoes." _'Why did I say that? Huh...' _Pete's weird comment had the desired effect and she sat back down in her chair slowly. She huffs and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Fine, but take the mask off just to be sure." Helena demanded.

"But I have such horrible hat hair today." Peter whined.

"Oh c'mon Peter, at least put her suspicions to rest so we can get back to the game." Dinah spoke up, as she started to deal out the cards.

"Alright, alright. If you all wanted to stare at this handsome mug so bad, all you had to do was ask." Peter pulls his mask up and off his head, his shaggy brown hair slightly puffing out, and his brown eyes being revealed. _'It's still a bit weird being able to take off my mask in front of them. It wasn't until that recent incident, that I'm still not gonna tell you about yet, that the rest of the Birds found out who I am.'_ Tossing the mask onto the table, next to his winnings, he runs his right hand through his hair once.

"Well welcome to the party Mr. Parker." Barbara smiles at him, and picks up her hand. Peter smiles back awkwardly, and picks up his hand too.

"Whatever. I'm not gonna lose this time cheater." Helena huffs, and picks up her hand.

"Children lets just have a nice pleasant game shall we." Dinah looks to each of the younger people in the room, before picking up her own cards.

_'So as I start my loosing streak how about I give you a bit of back story. The Birds of Prey is a team of mostly female heroes, brought together by Ms. Barbara Gordon here. Barb is better know by her previous alias Batgirl. She, alongside the Robin at the time, was trained by Batman, after jumping in the game on her own. They became the crime fighting group of Gotham before most of the other capes started to show. If what I'm told is correct she was easily a match for Harley back in the day. However, thanks to the Joker shooting her, she was crippled and left a paraplegic. Seriously the Joker is basically the Goblin version of Batman's rogues gallery, and by default his apprentices. So bad news. Guess I can at least breath easy that the world here knows him for the evil he is, before they elect him President... Anyway, after some time she started hero-ing again under the new alias Oracle, but instead of being on the front lines, she uses a huge network of information to lead her team and help us other heroes. She is a vibrant and mostly cheerful red headed beauty, who doesn't let the lack of mobility get her down.'_

_'I really admire Hot Wheels for her strength and perseverance. I've been in situations before that made me want to give up the game, like loosing my Spider Sense, and...Gwen...But Barb found her handicap only more motivation. She decided to start working another angle to help. When she created the Birds, it was originally just her, Dinah, and Helena. The roster has grown and switches regularly, but the three have mostly stayed strong.' _

_'Speaking of Screaming Mimi. She doesn't get her nickname, and I don't blame her, but its appropriate trust me. Anyway she's known as the hero Black Canary. I mentioned her previously as Ollie's wife, which she still is. Rocky relationship that one, at least from what I've heard. She is basically the sub leader here, and one hell of a martial artist. If it wasn't for my Way of the Spider, or my Spider-Sense, she'd kick my ass three ways from Sunday.' _

_'Way of the Spider you ask, I'm glad you did. Off topic time! I lost my Spider-Sense some time back. Until that point, if it wasn't for it, I'd be dead. No two ways about it. Dead, doornail dead. Deader that the Dead Sea, dead. Riding bikes with Mephisto, yucking it up with Hela, tea with Death, and...well you get the picture. Where was I...oh right. So turns out most of my career I've been so reliant on my six sense that I was basically useless without it. During the whole Spider-Island thing, as we dubbed it, it was taken from me. I ended up having to learn some form of self defense to just survive measly bullets. I know right! I end up under the tutelage of Shang-Chi. He taught me how to work with what I had and improvise to compensate for the loss of my Spider-Sense. Turns out I was Neo-ing it when I could have been Jackie Chan-ing it. Get it? Props if you do. So stuff happened, my clone, Kane, killed the Spider Queen, and I got my Spider-Sense back. Now I'm a better person for it. Okay back on topic.' _

_'Basically I'm sweating every time we end our sparring matches. She's that good...Hey mind out of the gutter! I mean she's one heck of a fighter, and keeps me on my toes constantly. Plus she's married, not that she isn't attractive...Gah look where put my mind. Stop it. So I think she's actually adapting to my personal style, and learning from it. *Shudders* She isn't just a master of the kung-fu's, she also has the superhuman ability to create sonic screams, which can reach upwards of 300 decibels. For those not in the science-y field, it's very, very, very, loud. How loud is it? It's loud enough to the point of shattering metal. Hence the nickname Screaming Mimi. Though I should probably get Melissa's approval first, but hey different world, different copyright laws. Besides she gave that alias up, so it okay right? Anyway, aside from that, Dinah keeps her personal and professional lives very separate. I know little to nothing about her outside what she's told me or Ollie has told me, which isn't a lot cause I try not to pry.'_

_'Finally we have Vie, whom I've already spilled the beans about. So nothing I can really add there. Oh, though I can say that she was the first hero to meet Peter Parker, and learn about my secret hobby. Let's see what else can I add here. Not much...where does that leave us. Oh look, I won again...and Vie's pissed...crap.'_

"Uh what's up Vie? Something on my face? Maybe a worried look, from the glare I'm getting." He asks trying to be lighthearted about the situation he finds himself in.

"Obviously your poker face was hidden by the mask, and yet you are still winning. Curious, very curious." Barbara says her fingers interlocked, and resting just in front of her face. It gave her a very calculating and slightly cold appearance. _'Ulp.'_

"Annnd that's a bad thing?" _'Sure Parker goad the Hunter some more. Freaking mouth.' _He looks around the table at the differing appearances of the ladies. Barbara, easily being the calmest, but definitely has something on her mind. Dinah looks like she's trying not to laugh at Helena. Then there's Helena, and the inferno behind her eyes. _'Though that might be because she has about ten bucks left.'_

"You...you...grrrrrr." Huntress's eye twitches, while she's pointing at Peter. She looks at her last bill before she throws her cards on the table again, and snatches up what's left of her money. "I'm going to bed." She storms off out of the living area, muttering harsh words under her breath. Peter recoils, trying to look as small as possible. He overhears one rather loud mutter from Helena before she leaves earshot. "Great now I'm gonna need to work extra hours. Stupid Parker."

"Yeah I think this is probably a good stopping point. Thanks for coming by Peter, we'll have to do it again soon." Dinah chuckles, and collects the cards together, before leaving the table herself. "Night all."

"Night." Peter responds sheepishly.

"Good night Dinah." Barb says, before she turns back to look at Peter calculatingly again. He nervously scratches his hair, and makes squirrely glances up at her from the table.

"Sooo...I guess I should probably go too." Peter grabs his mask and winnings, then lands on the floor from his wall sitting position.

"Probably. Could you possibly walk me to my room first? I forgot to charge the battery." Barb asks sweetly, patting the wheel on her chair. _'I know that tone and look. She wants to talk.'_

"Of course Barb. I wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I didn't escort a pretty lady to her door." Peter gives her a big smile, and rounds the table to her. Grabbing her handles, he starts leading her out of the room.

"Thank you Peter." She gives him another smile, and lets him push her down the hall. It's quite for a bit before Spider-Man breaks the silence.

"So what did you want to talk about Hot Wheels?" She snickers at her given nickname, and turns her head around to look up at him.

"If you don't mind could it wait till we get to my room." Her eyes project serious intent, but her smile calms him.

"Scandalous. Miss Gordon I'm flattered, but what would the others think? I'm pretty sure one Mr. Grayson might be rather off put. By the way wasn't he supposed to be here tonight for the game?" Peter puts on his best gossipy lady impersonation, even adding in the low tone of voice.

"It's only scandalous if you keep whispering about it Mr. Parker. _'Ah I love when people play along.' _And Dick probably got caught up in patrol. You know how it is." They reached her door, and she presses a button on her console, opening the door remotely.

"Boy do I. Half my life is missed appointments and dates." Peter sighs, and again Barbara snickers. She resumes control of her obviously still alive chair, and rolls over to her bed. "You minx, you tricked me." Peter grins, and steps in, with the door closing behind him. She gives him a grin of equal measure.

"And you fell for it Spidey." She lets out a calming breath, her red locks moving around her face. She looks back up with a serious expression, her glasses slightly glowing from the light. "Peter... I'm worried about you. We all are." _'Figured that was where this conversation was going. Glad someone here finally came out and wants to actually talk to me about it.' _

"Guess it was to much to hope that you were going to profess your undying love for me. Dang." Peter sighs and shrugs, then leans against the wall next to the door. His arms cross over his costumed chest.

"It amazes me you can be so relaxed after going through something that...life altering." She sends Peter a slightly incredulous look. Peter just shrugs his shoulders, and directs his gaze out the window into the night.

"Not like it's the first time I had more than the normal amount of limbs." He glances back to her and seeing her wide eyes smirks._'Okay you got your foreshadowing for later in my story, but it's still a bit too early to be talking about this in front of you guys. Don't hate the Spider. I'm just making sure you all get your money's worth of this. So I'm gonna cut off the conversation there. What say we get back to the start of my new life?'_

"So just to recap...you and Miss Sunshine are not the good guys, but are in fact the opposite?" Peter recounted, his hands dug deep into his front pant's pockets, wisps of breath coming out with each breath.

"In the clear cut definition of good an bad, yup." Harley mused lyrically, her hands clasped behind and holding her head. She was taking long out stretched steps, over exaggerating her walk.

"And that Joker guy..." He trailed off, as they walked down the busy 2pm street,

"My ol boss and ex boyfriend." Harley started whistling a tune after she said this. Peter's right hand came out of his pocket and he held the front of his face with his palm. Even with the lack of sight, he easily avoided bumping into people.

"Great. First thing I do here is break up a baddie domestic dispute, and then I get forced into playing Renfield for several of the bad guys. Boy someone out there must be rolling on the ground laughing." _'Jerky universe.'_ Peter was in his civy clothing, which consisted of a long sleeved black t-shirt, blue jeans, and a pair of sneakers. _'Neat thing about my suit, and thank you Reed for doing this, it can not only alter colors, and has all those nice little climate features, mine was designed to transform into civy's. Basically just the black shirt, jeans and shoes, but it's so very useful for quick changes. I can't even believe I used to wear my costume under my clothing everyday. Looking back I could have been caught so many times. A little surprised I didn't. Eh.' _From the looks he was getting from passerby's, they must have though he was crazy for wearing such thin clothing. Peter however felt fine, the suit kept plenty of heat in.

Harleen giggled, before looping her right arm around his still pocketed left arm, and snuggling up to him. "That's about the long an short of it, hun. Welcome ta the club." She said while beaming up at him from behind her black round framed glasses _'A note, Harleen actually wears prescription glasses. She just chooses to wear contacts most of the time. Personally I like the glasses, but I have no problem with her without them.'_ Peter couldn't help but smile back at her. Harley was currently dressed in a black jacket, red vertical patterned sweater, blue poured into jeans, and black half heel boots. Her hair was tied up in her trade marked pony tails. He let out an exasperated sigh, and went back to taking in their surroundings. "But enough about work Petey. Let's do some shopping!" She pumped her unoccupied arm happily in the air.

"I would have never guessed this was how I would be treated while I'm a minion." _'Bubbles is currently taking me shopping for new clothing, and the other miscellaneous guy stuff that the ladies do not have at home.'_ Peter scratched his the back of his head, as was his habit, and then chuckled a bit.

"What kind of girl do ya take me for Petey? I would never deprive ya of clothing and sundries. Especially when I get to pick all of them out for ya." Harls let out a happy, but decidedly sinister chuckle.

"Should I be worried?" Peter asked sarcastically, while looking down at the shorter blond currently wrapped around his left arm.

"Only if ya try to stop me." She flashed her pearly whites back at him, and Peter felt he should take the joke seriously.

"Duly noted." Peter nodded, and returned again to their surroundings. He was trying to get some sort of lay of the land while out on this little excursion. _'Let me tell you this right now. I've never been much of a shopper. Blame it on my humble upbringing, and my constantly small paychecks, but I basically end up at a big chain store, buy the cheap basics of what I need, and leave. Easy peasy. Now, shopping with a lady...that takes finesse, consideration, and a butt load of patience. As I'm basically the sub in this situation, and Harls easily the dom, you can imagine just how much fun she had.' _

The trip was filled with plenty of playful back and forth. Peter found himself really enjoying Harleen's take on life. It was so much more bright and cheerful than he would have ever guessed of a villainess. _'She reminded me a lot of Spider-Girl at this point. Full of life, excited about what she does, and can easily talk your ear off if you give her an inch.' _Occasionally he was reminded, mainly by offhanded comments or threats to some random person/s, that she was indeed a villain. Most was only said between them, but there was one occasion where a man bumped into Harley without apologizing. _'Poor guy got the scariest manner adjustment I'd ever seen come from such a little woman. I ended up having to drag her off of him kicking and screaming. Guy was strait up crying. It was actually kind of funny now that I think about it. Heh heh.'_ Still their trip seemed that much shorter because of it. Peter even found himself paying more attention to her than his mapping of the area. _'Wasn't really a hard choice. Pretty, happy girl on your arm, or worrying where the best alley is to change into my alter ego. Guess which one I chose. Go on guess.' _They soon arrived at a huge nine story tall and block wide shopping mall. This was nothing new to Peter, being from New York and all, but actually going into one was a totally nerve wracking experience. He managed a loud gulp before he was pulled inside. _'Again, not a shopper.'_

Once inside Harleen dragged Pete around like a dog on a leash. She made sure to keep a tight grip on his arm, and led him around to the different stores. At first they just perused the levels, going from shop to shop. About half way up the nine stories, Pete actually almost forgot she wasn't anything but a normal female shopping enthusiast. Peter eventually ended up catching her enthusiasm, and even pulled her towards some stores that interested him. Since the clothing stores were all on the upper levels, it took a good hour to get to them. _'I didn't mind though. My head hadn't caught up with my dimension jumped situation quite yet. I just decided to enjoy the trip, hoping it was all just a rather vivid dream.'_

Shopping for clothes was a much more time consuming activity. Harley made sure to have Peter try on almost everything she had picked out for him. _'Imagine one of those romantic comedy movie fashion montages, only with a much more awkward guy as the model, and you basically had what it was like. Bubbles was loving every single second of my misery though. Once a villain right?' _With almost every store they visited Peter ended up carrying a new bag or bags. By the eighth floor he looked like a pile of logos with legs. They were drawing all sorts of attention to them. The overly spunky and gung-ho blond, and her luggage handler who seemed like he should have collapsed under the weight a floor ago. _'The perk of having super strength, I didn't need to worry about the weight. The downside...the girls know it...and still do.' _

"So what exactly do you do for a living?" Peter joked as they left the last clothing store on the level. He couldn't believe she was willing to spend so much money on him. He half expected Ivy to scream at them upon their return about needless expenditures. _'Scratch that I was totally expecting it. A well founded worry by the way.'_

"Psychologist, but now I'm more of a banker." She sent back, and a muffled laugh was heard from behind the hill of bags.

"No really, I am a Psychologist." She turned around to look at him, and his head buzzed making him stop too. Poking his head out around the bags, he saw no hint of lying on her face.

"Really?"

"Really, really." She smiled and nodded once.

"Wow...I woulda never guessed. _'Bad Parker! Don't say things like that to your master. Fix it! Fix it quick!''_" Peter quickly saw the slightly hurt look in her face, and added. "Uh, not that I don't believe you or anything, just that well...um you don't quite act like a Psychologist. I'm...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude. I do believe you though, honestly." Peter quickly tried to cover his unintended insult, which got a large grin to come to her face. He ended up blushing quite deeply. _'Smoooooth.'_

"No worries hun. I know how people usually see me, especially now. Besides it's not like I can go back to bein one." Her grin was obviously well practiced, and Peter recognized it as the same one he's used for years.

"I really am sorry Harleen, I didn't mean to offend you. Especially considering you're probably my only friend in the world right now." Peter felt like a real heel now. He hung his head in shame, until she ruffled his hair.

"Thas sweet of ya to say Pete. How about we get some food? I'm a bit rumbly in my tumbly." Harley gave a genuine smile, before she turned around and headed for the 9th floor escalator. The nice restaurants were up there. If he could he would have kicked himself for making her feel like he had, but for now he'd try to apologize some more, and use the last of the money in his wallet to pay for their late lunch. _'Luckily the currency exchange between dimensions was the same. Lucky me Mighty Joe Dollar travels far.' _

"Wait for me Winnie! Lunch is on me today!" Peter called after her, as he shuffled forward with his cargo.

They ended up at a small, but nice bistro, which had a great view of the city from the windows. After he set the bag down next to a window table, he asked Harleen what she wanted, and ordered them by himself, along with two espressos. He kept stealing glances of her at the table while in line. She seemed a bit happier while looking out over the city. Peter just hoped that she accepted his apology.

With lunch mostly eaten, and warm drinks being sipped on, the two sat in a comfortable silence. Despite both's extremely talkative nature, the mood just didn't seem quite right for small talk. Most of Peter's time while eating was gazing out at Gotham City. It really started to hit home then, that he wasn't. He ended gaining a distant look in his eyes. 'Wanda... Are you out there? Are you okay? I hope you're safe.' His mind drifted to his other dimensional traveler. He really needed to start looking for her. 'Are you kidding Parker? Knowing you're luck she's...' Before his went down that mental road, Peter forced his thoughts to the woman actually in front of him. Shaking his head, he went back to eating hoping to break the ice on this frozen conversation before he fell to far into his other worldly problem. After Peter finished his sandwich he finally couldn't stand the quiet any longer.

"I'm really sorry for the unintended insult Harls. I honestly shouldn't be one to judge, most of the people back home see me as a chatterbox idiot who can lift ten tons." Peter said timidly. Considering they were in a corner, and no one was close he felt he could converse about their second lives, if they were careful about it. Quinzel actually sputtered while drinking from her cup, and stared up at him wide eyed.

"Te...ten tons!?" She kept her voice down, just enough to not attract to much attention, but her shocked expression brought a quirk to Peter's lips.

"I take it that's not common in this world?" He said with a chuckle. She mimicked an owl for a few seconds, before shaking her head of her surprise.

"That's...wow. That puts ya up there with the supa capes." She said putting her cup down finally.

"Super capes?" He asked slightly confused.

"Yeah like Sups and Starry Butt." Peter's cheeks bulged along with his eyes, followed quickly by rather loud and hysterical laughter. The entire eatery went silent and watched the brown haired man, who quickly tried to reign it in. _'Starry Butt. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Every time I hear it. Oh so good. Thank you Harley.' _Harley actually joined in his laugh shortly after he started. It took a good minute but the two of them finally calmed down enough to start catching their breaths.

"Oh man Harls, you gotta warn me before you lay down a gem like that. Phew." Peter, having finally caught his breath looked around them, at the quiet room. "Sorry folks, really funny joke." Peter said with a red hue to his face. Several people chuckled, and most just turned away trying to ignore the people in the corner.

"Ya know ya are cute when ya laugh Petey." Harleen snickered, seeing the flush on his cheeks come back.

"Th..thanks Harleen. So are you." His blush grew darker, and she even gained a pink tint to her cheeks. _'A very cute pink tint.'_

"Flatterer."

"Not usually, but I do occasionally manage to stutter something out. Anyway, back to super capes." Peter did his best to redirect the conversation back on topic.

"Spoilsport. Okay, well there ain't a lot of capes that actually have supa powers here. Gotham especially."

"So this league consists of Sups, Starry Butt, and Spider-Man now? Great, just what I need, working with a guy named Starry Butt." Peter deadpanned the last sentence.

"Gal actually. She's called Wonder Woman." Harley corrected.

"I...I can't...wow. Um why Starry Butt, I dare ask?"

"Blue spangled bloomers." Harley's face got a mischievous grin, as she took her cup in her hands and tapped on it with her fingers. _'You can imagine how difficult it was when I actually met Diana. Especially when all I could think about was Starry Butt.'_

"Um..wow. Just wow." Peter took his cup in hand, and had it just to his lips when an explosion was heard, followed by a clattering of glass. Peter quickly looked out the windows, as did Harley. The rest of the people in the building were gasping and quickly chattering, but obviously shaken. From the window Peter and Harleen could see smoke rising some distance away. Another explosion rocked the area, and the two vigilantes rose to their feet, sharing a glance.

"Maybe we should get you home." Peter's attitude went serious, as he started gathering up the bags.

"Petey?" Harley asked, but she was right there with him as they exited the bistro.

"I don't know what's going on, but I should be there to help if I can." He told her softly as they headed to the ground floor.

"Why?" She asked as if what he said was foreign to her.

"Why? Because people are in danger. If I can help then I'm gonna." The stairs were clogged with people, and the escalators were moving slow. Peter was obviously growing more impatient and anxious with each passing second.

"But it's not your fight." Harls said with a conviction that brought him back to reality again. Harley was still one of the bad guys. Charismatic, adorable, fun to be around, but a villain. They could laugh together, talk about the most pointless things, and enjoy each others company, but at the end of the day their views were very different. _'Causes and Effects are what separate heroes and villains. At least mostly. Given the right, or wrong, situations a hero could easily have become a villain and vice versa. At the end of the day we are all just people shaped by a handful of cause and effects. I was starting to see Harleen like I originally did Felicia. Grant it the mallet certainly set her back, but my track record with the Ms. Hardy was much worse.'_

"They usually aren't Harls, but with great power comes great responsibility. It was a lesson I learned in the hardest of ways, and not something I'm just going to give up because of the new 'situation' I find myself in." He looked around for a break in the people, and was quickly growing frustrated. "Grrr. Come on people I need a way out of here." He said lowly enough so his companion was the only one to hear him.

Harleen, while still baffled by his determination, was oddly struck by his words. She said something under her breath, and grabbed Peter's arm when they reached the fourth floor. She pulled him out of the stream of people, and to a much less crowded line heading out to the parking garage. "We'll use the parking garage. Follow me."

Without another word Peter nodded, and followed. Inside there were cars leaving, but mostly it was pedestrians heading to the roof for a better view. Harley and Peter dashed down the stair access to the street below. No one paid attention to them when they reached street level. _'Thank whatever being decided to make humans so curious. It makes slipping from view so very easy.' _

"Harleen I'm sorry for sticking you with the bags, but..." Peter shuffled the bags in his hands to the ground. Harley pulled her large purse around her front and opened it, revealing his Web Shooters.

"It's okay Petey. I'll take a cab. Meetcha back at home." She started picking up the bags, but looked up to him with a smirk. "Don't get looost."

"I'll try not to. Welp, time for me to hold up my end of the bargain. Thanks Harls." He flashed her a smile, took his devices from her, and ran off further down the street into an adjoining alley. _'A shout out to alleys everywhere by the way. You are a hero's best friend thru and thru. Love ya alleys.'_ A quick look around and a few death defying parkour wall bounces, he was on the roof. Another quick look, slipping his shooters on, and focusing his suit into changing in his true red and blues. Pulling his mask from the seam on his hip, he pulled it on as charged toward the edge of the roof.

"Gotham City, say hello to your new friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!" Spider-Man announced jumping off the roof. Shifting into a nose dive, he waited till he was half way down the building before launching his line to a nearby building. Using his momentum he pulled into a wide ark-ing swing, around the corner of the block. Out of the corner of his lenses he saw Harley on the sidewalk holding the many bags. Another web line and he was out of sight, but already creating a stir from the onlookers below. _'And skip ahead to the trouble.'_

Spidey landed on the tallest building closest to the fires and chaos below. A glance over the side, and he had to double take. Street level were two exploded vehicles, and torrents of flame everywhere. Police were trapped behind anything they could find that wouldn't explode. And the cause of the mess.

"No way. Is that the Beetle?" Peter couldn't believe his eyes. The person flinging flames and hovering off the ground, was a chrome armored, obviously bug themed bad guy. His mask had huge raised bug-eye lenses, and he had a set of metal wings on his back to each side of the jet pack. He was holding two large rifle looking flame throwers. Bullets were bouncing off his suit, leaving the police as nothing but a mere distraction.

"Hahahaha! Burn, burn, burn! Bring on the bats! I'll burn them too!" _'Wasn't the Beetle. Beetle doesn't talk much. This guy uses standard cliched bad guy threats. So we have Firefly, almost a dead ringer for the Beetle back home. Something you'll notice as time goes on, but Batman's rogues gallery are pretty dang similar to mine. That led me to thinking Bat's was this world's version of me. Oh so wrong was I.'_ The baddie lifted his guns and launched another few torrents of flames, aiming for the cops. Peter took a few seconds to check the scene, and then dived off this roof too.

"Hey arachnid, pick on someone your own species!" Spider-Man shouted over the roaring flames. The bug man jerked his head up toward the new voice.

"WHAT?! I'm Firefly, not some...!" The maniac shouted, rather pissed off with the comment. _'I cannot believe I got to use this turn around of insult. It was so refreshing to be on the other end of that for a change.' _Two gossamer strands of webbing flew to either side of him, connecting the the ground. Peter pulled the lines taught and rocket downward, feet first. His rocket kick rammed into the Firefly's armored chest, slamming the madman into the concrete sidewalk. Spider-Man back flipped off of the guy, and landed in his usual hunched crouch.

"Oh yeah that's right, I'm the spider here. And I eat guys like you for breakfast, Fly-Boy." Peter watched as Firefly wobbled to his feet, one of his rifles lost down the street, but the other within arms reach.

"You bas...bastard!" Firefly shouted, pulling his flame gun up. Spidey leaned back up, into a squat and launched a web line from his right shooter. Sticking the weapon Peter yanked it out of Firefly's grip, and caught the weapon with both hands. His lenses squinted, while the unseen smirk grew. "Hey Glow Worm...got yer gun." He taunted waving it at the menace. _'I swear I could see the guy's eyes twitching behind his mask. Either that or it was the probable concussion I gave him earlier. Either way hot heads are so much fun to toy with. Except the the Hulk. Never. With. The Hulk.' _

"I'LL BURN YOU ALIVE!" Firefly raged, and launched himself forward with his jet pack. He cocked his right hand back ready to punch the hero. _'Really? This rarely works on me even when I've had the daylights beaten out of me.'_

Spider-Man stood up and held the gun to his right side by the barrel. "What's the best way to deal with a fly?" Peter asked out loud to anybody who could hear him. In a moment of blinding speed, Spider-Man grabbed the barrel with his left hand, and brought it around in a hard swing. The clang that resulted resounded over the fire. The gun connected with Firefly's head, hard. Sending him spiraling to the left, and into the brick wall of a building. "Flyswatter!" Spidey joked, as he held the badly bent weapon in a batter's swing.

The gun started to hiss violently. One of his lenses opened the whole way as he looked at the gas escaping the gun. 'Crap!' Both lenses shot open, and he tossed the gun to the ground a few feet away, before launching webs from both wrists onto the gun. He made sure to cover the gun in several layers of thick webbing, and waited. No explosion came. He sighed heavily, and pretended to wipe his masked brow. "Talk about almost adding fuel to the fire."

Taking a quick glance around he saw the cops starting to emerge from their hiding places, and saw the fire trucks pulling up. _'They had been there the whole time, but at a safe distance. The last thing they needed was the conundrum of a fire truck on fire.'_ The officers approached slowly, cautious of the new costumed man.

"Hold up a second officers. Let me make sure our little matchstick is out and well secure." Spidey called out to them, causing most to halt. An inhuman leap to the side of the broken wall, and Spider-Man saw the motionless body of Firefly laying halfway inside the brick rubble. He web lined a stray brick to his hand, then gingerly tossed it at the man's head. After the clank, Firefly moaned painfully, and rolled his head to the side. "Alriiight, out cold." The vigilante dropped off the wall, and pulled the unconscious man out of the pile. He walked him away a bit then set him on the ground, and webbed him up really good. "He's cooled down now. Come and get'im."

Seven of Gotham City's PD approached the scene quick but cautiously. All had their guns trained on either the unknown masked man or Firefly. "Freeze." One of the higher ranked, a woman, said authoritatively.

Peter automatically raised his hands in surrender, and took a few steps back from the bad guy. "I know it's probably not gonna help much, but I'm one of the good guys." He knew better than to mess with police that didn't know him. _'I wanted to start my career here with a positive first impression. Last thing I wanted is another J.J. making this life miserable too.'_

"What do you wanna do Mel?" One of the male officers asked the woman who was leading the pack.

"Depends. No sudden movements, and you better answer my questions quick-like buddy." She directed her demands toward Spidey, who kept his hands up, but looked around at the fires and devastation from behind his blank lenses.

"No problem Ma'am. Just trying to be a good Samaritan. Cross my heart." Peter said in an upbeat tone. By this time the paparazzi were on scene, and already snapping pictures with abandon.

"Good. Who are you?" She said, not sounding any more amused.

"First introduction manner protocols usually warrant the askee to name themselves first." The woman cocked back the hammer on her gun. "But then again, I guess those rules are pretty flexible. I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, err...may I get your name? It would make this a bit less awkward." Spidey's voice was a bit hurried.

"Spider-Man? Never heard of ya. Anybody know anything about this guy?" A round of no's from her fellow officers brought her back to him. "You with the League?"

"League? No, I actually just got here pretty recently. Could I get your name now?" He said the last part a bit sheepishly. The woman raised an eyebrow, and there was a few seconds of silence, as officers slowly, methodically moved to surround Spider-Man. Spidey's lenses raised appropriately with the direction his head turned, as he watched them do this.

"Detective McKenna. Well Spider-Man if you're not with the League, then I'm gonna have to ask you to come with us." She let her left hand fall to her belt, and to a pair of cuffs there. The cops advanced on him slightly. _'Heh. They don know me vewy wewl do dey.'_

"I suppose a polite declination isn't a option here?"

"Nope. Are you gonna behave, or is this gonna get messy." McKenna said, bringing the cuffs up, and letting one half dangle from her hand.

"I'd rather just get a pat on the back, and a see ya next time. But..." A few windows on the other side of the street exploded outward in flame. All the officers turned to look in that direction. Taking the very brief chance, Peter leapt nearly ten feet in the air, and web lined the burning building that distracted them. _'Thank you convenient happenstance. Actually Melody and I end up getting along pretty well. Actually most of the GCPD are pretty cool with me now. Took a some time and a few more escapes, but they know I'm one of the good guys.' _

"Don't shoot me! I'm just gonna see if anybody needs some rescuing." Spidey called back to the group of police. SPIDER-SENSE! He weaved away from several bullets with practiced ease, before landing on the roof and crouching.

"Great way to leave a first impression Spidey." Peter rolled his eyes under his mask, and proceeded to climb around to the other side of the building. The side that wasn't on fire at least. Breaking into a hallway window, Spider-Man crawled along the ceiling, and started his search for trapper survivors. "Anybody in here need rescuing!" He shouted over the flames. Hearing panicked cries come from several rooms, he jumped into action. The first door was locked, and the handle was very hot.

"Hang on!" He cemented his hands to the door, and ripped it right off it's handles. _'You know I actually jump into a lot of burning buildings, now that I think about it. It's become kind of an art for me to rescue people in them. After about the fiftieth time it gets really easy.'_ Flames licked at him from just on the other side of the door. Peter took the door and slammed it down on the flames hard, extinguishing them in a gust of wind. "Anybody trapped, or can you get out to the hallway?" A mother and daughter came running out of the apartment, and into the smoky hallway.

"Thank you!" The woman said hurriedly, carrying her young daughter in her arms.

"No problem. Anybody else in there?" The woman coughed a few times, and shook her head no. "Alright head to the window at the end of the hallway. I'll be there in a minute." Panicked but understanding, the mom ran to where Spidey had entered.

Spider-Man rushed into the increasingly dangerous building, and ended up rescuing several more people, before finding no others. He, while carrying a young boy, rushed to the filled, fire free, end of the hallway. He set the kid down, and poked his head out the window. 'No fire escape. Okay net time.' Spidey thought quickly.

'Alright folks listen up. I'm going to create a net, and I need the adults to jump down into it. I'll lower the kids down on a line. Everybody get me. We need to do this quick." Peter made sure his voice was as determined as possible. _'When people are scared, they need a rock to anchor to. I'm their rock until they are safe. Period.'_ Spider-Man devil horned his upturned hands, and pressed down lightly on his shooters trigger. A wide spray of webbing launched out, connecting to two street lamps. He reinforced the connection to the lamps and building. "Okay folks time to be brave. Adults first." He called to them, and a man walked up first. "Trust me it's as strong as steel. Hurry." Them man hesitated for a few seconds before jumping. He landed in the stretchy net safely, and the rest followed with much more gusto. The children came next as Spider-Man lowered them down on individual strands. The smoke was becoming deadly, and he ended up having the last little girl piggy back on him as he jumped himself.

Emergency vehicles were already on scene on this side of the building, so Spidey set the girl down quick, and web lined up and away. He came around the front of the building, and swung just over head of the cops and Detective McKenna. "See you next time Gotham's finest!" Peter swore he saw a half smile on McKenna's face before he vanished from her sight.

_'Home free right? Nope, they got choppers. But I won't bore you with the thrilling helicopter chase they gave me. Onto my next big surprise.' _

"Phew. They don't give up easily. Alright." Our hero watched the police choppers fly off in another direction from his vantage on a roof. He stretched his arms to the air, letting his muscles relax a bit. "Time to blend back into the crowd and head home." Spidey reached for his mask and started to peel it up. SPIDER-SENSE! Letting the hem go he quickly turned around, and looked over the many large fanned roof.

"Awww. Don't let little ol' me stop you. I don't mind the show." A woman's voice came from behind the roof access.

"Sorry to disappoint, but I'm a third date kinda guy. So you gonna come on out, or am I just talking to a sexy sounding wall?" A soft laugh came from behind the access, followed slowly and sensually by a black leather clad leg, and another, then a whole womanly body. Spider-Man pulled another double take. A vision of Felica Hardy, aka the Black Cat, stood about ten feet away from him now.

"Fe...Felica, is that you?" Peter's voice was wavering, he didn't expect her at all.

"Sorry stud I'm no Felicia." The woman said cutely, and Spidey's vision finally wiped away, revealing the actual woman in front of him. She was absolutely poured into her black catsuit. _'Ironic no?'_ She had a cat eared cowl covering most of her head, and huge slanted eye-like glasses over her eyes. From the few strands of hair uncovered he determined she was black haired. It was uncanny how she wore her outfit in comparison to Black Cat's, even down to the lowered zipper and generous show of pale flesh.

"Geeze, my bad. You look almost exactly like her. Anyway, who may I ask are you?" Spider-Man shook his head, and crossed his arms over his chest. His Spider-Sense wasn't going off, but that didn't mean she wasn't capable of setting it off.

"We're not on a first name basis, so just call me Catwoman." She gave him a bow at the waist, which would normally direct his gaze to the exposed flesh. _'Guy.'_ However his lenses were owling, as he was just gawking at her smiling face. His arms even fell to his sides. _'Seriously?! Talk about deja vu.'_

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." She was upright again, her hips cocked to the right, and her hands on the them.

"Gah. Sorry, sorry. It's just the resemblances are uncanny." Shaking his head again, he resumed his crossed arm state. "Hi Catwoman, I'm Spider-Man."

"I know. I was watching." This made Peter's head pull back slightly. "Nice moves by the way."

"Well...thank you. Didn't realize I had masked people in the audience, or I would have put on more of a show." Peter joked, but was now looking Catwoman over from behind his blank lenses. _'I was looking for weapons, and dangerous objects! I swear!' _

"Actually I just caught the end of your little display. I was kinda busy with the robbery Firefly was covering for." Catwoman winked at him, from behind her glasses.

"So he wasn't just a madman with a super suit and fire fetish."

"No he is, but he was sent to be a distraction. Which he did flawlessly with your help. I just wanted to meet the newbie in town, before the bats' got a hold of you." She raised her hand up and pointed at Spider-Man, rocking her hips the the left.

"Well the pleasure is all mine Kitty, but who are the bats and why should I be worried?" Peter questioned, his right lens raising in question.

"Quite the charmer aren't you? Well let me see." She tapped her index finger against her chin. "Nope, I think I'll let you find out who they are on your own." Catwoman cracked a mischievous smile, clasping her hands behind her back, slightly pushing her bust out.

"Well that's not very fair now is it? Wait...if you were at the robbery... You weren't?" Spidey pointed an accusatory finger at her. _'Hey I'm a genius, not a detective. Got enough of those around here already.'_

"Oh, he is more than just a nice figure." She chided, pulling a little black bag out from behind her back in her left hand. She waved it teasingly.

"Seriously are you sure you're not related to Felicia? Oh well. I'm gonna have to have you hand the bag over Kitty." Spider-Man's body tensed slightly, and his arms unfolded.

"Nuh uh, these stay right were they are. Unless you think you can take them from lil' ol me." Catwoman teased, bouncing the bag in her hand now. Peter's lenses shortened, and he shot his right hand forward launching a strand of webbing. The webbing went right past her empty hand, when she calmly tossed the bad to her other hand.

"Oh c'mon, what kind of thief do you think I am. You're gonna have to try harder than that Spider." Brilliant white teeth flashed, and taking a step back with her right foot.

"A cat burglar of course, and you asked for it." Spider-Man jumped forward and high in the air, pulling himself into a flip. Catwoman swiped her left hand toward the ground, four tiny black balls exploded against the ground creating a large smokescreen. Two strands of webbing penetrated the cloud no more than a second later, followed by Spidey falling into the cloud, dispersing it. The sound of something tapping against the ground in the alley below, made Peter jump off the roof into the alley.

He landed in the alley after a few amazing jumps down, and looked around quickly. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." There was nothing in the alley.

"You're fast, but not fast enough. See ya next time Spider." Her sing song voice rang from above him. She gave him one quick wave from the same roof he was just on, and vanished from sight.

"Wha...Oh come on!" A strand of webbing a second later, and he was back on the empty roof. He looked over the entire roof, and the surrounding roofs, to find nothing. _'Cat themed people are so frustrating! Grr.'_ Peter let out a long sigh. "Dang it. Not Felicia my web shooters." Peter resigned himself that he lost the cat, and decided to head back home.

_'And our elusive Black Cat look alike is Selena Kyle. Ms. Kyle is...well...basically...Felicia Hardy, just a less illustrious background and no bad luck powers. Though she has a great relationship with felines, bordering on super power. I mean seriously there is not much difference aside from that. Both are well trained thieves, infinitely frustrating to try and catch, have a complicated relationship with a hero, and have been both bad and good...multiple times. Once I found out about Bat's on again off again romance with Catwoman, we had an unsung understanding. When I mentioned it to him, I swear he gave me the ghost of a smile.'_

Nearly two hours later Peter Parker finally arrived at the loft. Pressing the button to the com, he was rewarded with Harleen's cheerful voice.

"Who is it?" She drew the words out.

"It's Renfield. May I come in?"

"You're late. You got lost didn't you?" He could practically see the triumphant glint in her eyes.

"Y...yeah." He said defeated.

"You're lucky there is someone I wantcha to meet, or I would leave ya out there." The door buzzed and unlocked, allowing Peter entrance. The elevator ride made him increasingly nervous.

"Oh this can't be good. The only people I can think Harls knows, and Ivy would allow in would be on the wrong side of the law. No, no, no this can't be good." His monolog was cut off when the elevator came to a halt, and he slowly opened the gate. "I'm back."

"Oh goodie! Petey come here." Harley called from the living room. Peter slowly moved from the lift, and froze halfway to the living room. In the recliner, with her legs crossed and sipping on a cup of tea was Catwoman. She had her glasses up on her forehead, and set the cup down onto the china plate.

"Well well, we meet again. A bit sooner than expected though isn't it, Spider-Man." Peter's jaw hung agape, just pointing a shaking finger at her, his expression worried.

"This is Catwoman, an ally of ours." Pam said from the second floor, leaning forward against the railing using her arms as a brace. She was in her red housecoat, and rather annoyed for some reason. Catwoman smiled, and pulled the same small black bag out, taunting him with it.

'And with that the Sirens have been assembled, and my identity revealed once more in less than a three days. Could my life get any more complicated? Yes. Yes it can. One word...Batman.'

**Chapter 3 End**

**A/N:** I'm so sorry this took so long to get out. There was two weeks there where work and a vacation took me from writing. Anyways, we have Peter meeting Selena, and Spider-Man's first official appearance in Gotham. What could possibly go wrong? Yeah I'll leave that to your imaginations. Starting with the next chapter we'll be forging ahead in time. I actually made an outline of story arcs to come and have about five arcs idea'd out. So this story will be a long one. I hope you'll stick with me until the end. Also I'm thinking of adding a companion to this story. Either Harley's Diary, or a Marvel Journal (Not sure who just yet). They will basically be short entries that explain what is going on from a different side of the story. A poll will be put up, and stay up for until the next chapter is finished. Let me hear your thoughts on it. Thank you all for your Favs, Reviews, and support. I will do my best to make the next chapter come out quicker. Until then, I hope you enjoyed, and see ya next time.

**FrivolousThoughts:** I was a bit surprised myself with the reviews, but your got first spot at least lol. No worries, the next chapter will have Batman's appearance, so hopefully I'll answer some of your questions. As for the Marvel side, you'll just have to vote in the poll. I hope to keep up the awesome too. Thanks for inspiring me again Friv.

**Never-End66:** Lol sorry, but at least it was a nice surprise for when you woke up. I like Wanda way to much to leave her out of the story. In fact she was specifically put there as more than just a plot device. Glad you like Spidet's storytelling. Have some more.

**Dark Vizard447:** Thanks

**The Raggle Fraggle:** It'll be an interesting ride if what my head is thinking is done correctly. Sorry to make you wait so long, but here it is.

**Lord Edric:** How do you think it went lol.

**A-BOMBLIKEABOSS:** I doubt I will. However time travel is a possibility.

**tylerbamafan34:** Thanks for reading this crossover. I hope to keep you interested.

**Scarlet Spider-Ham:** You flatter me kind reader. I hope to keep it up.

**ST3VETH3PIRATE:** I know I'm horrible about time frames, I can only promise that I will continue this story. Hopefully at a quicker pace than I have. Aside from that I'm hoping you'll like how they get the the future point in their relationship. Thanks for reading.

**mkeeg91:** I'll do my best to make the transitions know better from now on.

**GumGumOnigiri:** You'll see my friend, that's all I can say for now without spoilers. I hope to keep you entertained. Here's some more.

**edboy4926:** Going on.

**koryandrs:** Trust me it sounds much less confusing to the writer lol. I will try to make it less so as we move forward.

**Book-AddictFF:** Good luck on your story my friend. When you get it out just tell me I'll take a look at it. Spidey will be meeting them soon. Maybe not all, but I'll certainly try to get them an appearance.

**Selias:** Wow, can't say I approve, but you might like the 4th arc.

**Scimitar Prime:** Wait no longer...sorry for the wait though.

**DarkDevilKnight:** Updated.


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